Tuesday, December 18, 2007

To Be or not To Be

Sometimes people have some problems. To share these issues is a tricky proposition. The exposure can either come off whiny or make the poor reader slightly squidgy & in need of a long hot shower. Bad taste be damned, the Baroness is about to share an issue that she's currently struggling with. Will you, dear reader, care or not care? That is the question. Should it be the question? That is also the question. Perplexed? Intrigued? Read on at your peril.

I know that the purpose of a blog is to just be a journal of sorts. I also know that I enjoy writing. What I'm wrassling with right now is why I started this. Ah yes, the question of intention.

You see, like every other warm-blooded individual, deep down I'm looking for some sort of validation. Yes, surprising. With me being such a capricious, who-gives-a-care kind of gal. But if I am to face the cold truth, I'm not all that unique. I'm looking for some sign of life in the vastness know as cyberspace. While I amuse myself to no end, I have no idea if my writing is doing what I think it should. And that's when the handy-dandy "Comments" section of the blog come in.

It's quite lovely, I must tell you, to open my blog and find new comments. It makes me believe that I could possibly be writing something that has some resonance. Here's the catch - I started this so that I could get my just writing out there. No formal process, just pure autonomy. No submissions to an editor, no rejection letters.

But hitting that "Publish Post" button is beginning to feel like I've launched my baby out into a vacuum. And all of a sudden, rather than just being passionate about getting the writing out, I'm becoming obsessed with knowing if anyone is reading it. Why? Am I nuts? Is that what's important here? I really don't know. As much as I'd like to believe that I've embraced all new things tech-y, maybe this is one realm that I'm just not ready for.

I'll have to sit with this for a while. I just don't know.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, I've been reading.
In a very creeper type way.
I laugh, I cry, I have a good time.
Sometimes I just don't really have anything to say back!

Lisa said...

I'm a fan, Baroness! I say, keep writing as long as you enjoy doing it. I just started my blog too, and am finding out there are lots of lurkers. Leah's right though .. sometimes I'm just not creative enough to come up with something to say (kinda like now!). .. Barbra Peapod

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