Sunday, February 10, 2008

How About That?

Greetings, dear readers! Although I am a day late and a dollar short (or a Loonie short, for the Canadians out there in the crowd - you know who you are), here is the latest installment of "How About That?" to get y'all ready for the exciting "holidays" gracing the calendar this coming week. Note here I will avoid any discourse regarding the 14th; I remember many a lonely Valentine's that came and went without acknowledgment - I think this overblown day gets enough marketing without my assistance. Never you mind. You have a fantastic personality, and he/she/it doesn't know what he's/she's/it's missing. Idiots.

Sunday, February 10th
Oh, how the Baroness loves it when a plan comes together. Is it some weird twist of fate that today is "Umbrella Day", and tonight at the Grammy awards, young Miss Rhiannon will no doubt sing her smash hit honoring said defense against embarrassing wetness('ella, 'ella, 'ella)? Why anyone would honor this accoutrement with its own day, why someone would use it as an inspirational springboard for a pop song, and why a teenaged girl would feel compelled to sing about it are all points we can mull over during our daily meditations. Perhaps it's yet another ploy to illustrate the downside of this ridiculous "global warming" theory. Crackpots.

Today is also the YMCA's 138th birthday. Thanks to a rigorous program of isometrics and a liberal dose of hostellry to keep it up on all things au courant, it doesn't look a day over 125. Another honoree, another song. Yet this one, The Baroness finds, is a little more danceable. And multi-cultural. Again--global. But no warmings here. Just a warning - wear a condom.

Monday, February 11
This, my friends, is a day rife with possibility - "National Inventor's Day", "Make a New Friend Day", "Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day", "La-Z-Boy Chair Day". Think of the frivolity to be had by combining these - "Make a new Friend who's a Lazy Boy Day" or the more popular "Make a New Friend On a La-Z-Boy Chair Day", or , or "Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk - I Stole your Invention Day". How to celebrate? Three items - naugahyde, ice cream, something from Ronco - and wah hoo! You got yourself a party!! One small request - no YouTube videos or internet movies. Difficult concept - some things are better left private.

Tuesday, February 12
Normally, The Baroness would not venture this far in to the week, but there's a great opportunity that bears suggestion. Tuesday is "National Lost Penny Day". While I'm not entirely sure that I thoroughly grasp the intention here (this day surprisingly coincides w/Lincoln's birthday), I would offer that you should put your two cents in and leave some pennies around indiscriminately, begging to be found. Because, as we all know - find a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck.

Really - a mere 1 cent to give someone a day of good luck? A prudent investment, in my humble estimation.

Have a fabulous week, everyone!


Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Well when you put it like that, I think I will be leaving trails of pennies wherever I go, and if I get lost, I will be able to find my way back. It's a win-win!

i am playing outside said...

one time, i found a trail of 9 pennies about two feet apart in a parking lot. it rocked!

Patty Cakes said...

If somebody says "a penny for your thoughts" I might say what am I chopped thoughts are at least worth a nickle" oh maybe not!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I love that yesterday was Make A New Friend Day. I went to the grocery store mentally telling everyone I knew in town to fuck off, and I ended up running into someone from our ped office. We ended up chatting for TWO HOURS. I left the store so happy, so refreshed. We may be moving, but the connection we made last night was awesome. I so needed it. I love that you post all these holidays. You rock.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Scarlett: Small word of advice - if you do use the pennies to find your way back, they are not - repeat not - candies nor breadcrumbs,Gretel.

Count IAPU: Have you checked YouTube for "Guy Picking up 9 Pennies in a Parking Lot?"

Countess Patty Cakes: OK, I think your thoughts are at least worth a dollar. Canadian.

Countess NATUI: As I first started reading your comment, I thought - what the deuce? This woman has just moved and she'll already giving the FOAD mind-meld to her new community? Then I read a little further and it all made much more sense...I'm so happy that you made a new almost pen-pal! Best of luck on your upcoming relocation.

Lisa said...

Baronnes, you could have a career writing for Hallmark if you keep it up! Or... as a songwriter for the poor twit singing about a stupid umbrella.!! ... Babs Peapod

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