Saturday, February 23, 2008

How About That?

Bonjour, dear readers! Did you have a restorative sleep? How's the funk* going? The Baron and I had a delightful evening out, supping on a delicious dinner with friends; much frivolity ensued. It was the perfect defunk-ifier, and the stone I will turn over in my hand for days to come. Many thanks to the vonHenrys for the invite.

Once again, The Baroness will be sketching out the plethora of marvelous "holidays" for the entire week. The vonB's will be off on a jaunt to the land of NASA and Mickey Mouse. I will endeavour to send missives from there; I can't promise anything. The Baron had a smidge of difficulty with the wi-fi situation when we were in Chicago - I blame you-know-who. She really is everywhere...

Pen and calendar in hand? Superb. Here we go:

Saturday, February 23rd
It's hot, it's cool, it's the whole enchildada. Today is not only "National Chili Day", it's "Curling Is Cool Day". Again ambiguity prevails, and I'm not sure which curling is cool - hair(pretty pretty), pototoes (yum), toes(ooh la la!), or the actual sport of curling. I'm going with this last one, as a nod to my fellow Canucks - it ranks right up there with hockey for national beloved winter activity. Our ultra-hip niece and nephew were visiting from Manhattan not too long ago, and became absolutely mesmerized by the telecast of The Brier. It's kind of like the visual equivalent of trance music - very zen-like and hypnotic. And having played a couple of times, The Baroness can verify curling is cool.

Sunday, February 24th
Last week, Mr. Rogers. This week, Sesame Street. One of TV-Land's coolest dads - Gordon - has a birthday today. Also notable and thought-provoking, today is "Nylon Toothbrush Birthday". This wonder of hygiene came to be in 1938, and begs the question - exactly what were people using before this? Corn cobs? Twigs? Feel feel to post your hypotheses in the comments section. And no know-it-alls, please - it's much more amusing if we all take a wild stab in the dark.

Monday, February 25th
"Quiet Day". A whole day? What whack-a-doodles conjured up this day, and what barren tundra do they live on? For those who can manage it, even for a minute - luxuriate in it, and think of those of us who live in a perpetual state of cacophony. Bloody dog. Bloody kids. Bloody racket. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tuesday, February 26th
I believe, much to the dismay of the New York Transit Authority (and cleaning staff, if there is indeed such a thing), that these three days can be combined: "Tell a Fairy Tale Day" (Once upon a time, there was this fab-ulously dressed man named Lyle, who smelled like clean laundry and looked just like David Beckham...), "National Pistachio Day", and the anniversary of The New York Subway (nee 1870). Be careful who you sit near, Guv' - and don't slip on the shells littering the floor.

Wednesday, February 27th
"No Brainer Day". How much does everyone love it when someone states what is apparently obvious to only them and declares "It's a No Brainer"? Perhaps followed by a "D-uh!", and a shoulder shrug that suggests your intelligence ranks right up there with pocket lint?

Yeah, well this is the day that The Baroness decrees we collectively give them a swift kick in the kishkes. Kind of like "Murder on the Orient Express", when everyone took a kick at the cat (The Baroness wishes to reassure her good friends at PETA that no cats were actually harmed in the making of this blog). There is no way that I will celebrate the people who feel compelled to point out these little gems. Shut up already, you pompous buffoons.

Thursday, February 28th
A couple of weeks ago on CBS Sunday Morning, one of the correspondants went to Detroit (I think) to partake of a yearly ritual - the eating of a donut-like confection called a Paczki. Well, Thursday is "Paczki Day". Which dovetails quite nicely with "Public Sleeping Day". This will no doubt happen after too many Paczkis are consumed, and the elevation in blood sugar puts many into a diabetic coma, right in front of the bakery. Motor-City-ites, just let them sleep it off. Maybe a blanket would be nice - and some kleenex to dab down that drool puddle by their left cheek.

Where would CSI be without "DNA Discovery Day" (1953)? And where would we be without the invention of pockets? This happened way back in 1590, when the Baroness was a mere toddler. Whoever is responsible for this - our keys and wallets bow to your whimsy.

If paczkis were not enough to tax your insulin production, we end the day with "International Pancake Day". I'm sure I don't have to tell you about the house with the booths and the syrup. It's a no-brainer. D-uh. Shrug.

Friday, February 29th
For all of those Leap Year babies in the crowd - Happy Birthday to yooou. And to 36 year old Mikey T. who technically is only nine, I hope you get that Lego set you were hoping for.

It's also "National Surf and Turf Day". For the Baroness, this would be the day where you try for 5 hours to catch that perfect wave (Ok, you try to actually stand upright on the board). (OK, 9 hours). Then you turf said board into the nearest dumpster in the parking lot. Bite me, Duke Paoa Kamanahoku. Hang ten? Hang this.

For the rest of the less-hostile, enjoy steak, lobster and Pepcid. Because those Red Lobster buns are addictive, and they'll swell up in your gut like a North Shore wave.

Have a fabulous week, everyone! TTFN.

*As an aside here, whilst at the supermarket today, waiting in line and catching up on some valuable reading, I came across an article about thyroid issues. Apparently Miss O is suffering from this particular malady (she really is everywhere), and it outlined some of the symptoms. I do believe that I will be getting my thyroid checked out upon my return - this could possibly explain some of the funkiness. Maybe you might find this worthwhile pursuing as well?


Not Afraid to Use It said...

A Quiet Day? Are you serious? Where do I sign up? LOL

The Guv'ner said...

I believe curling is Scottish. Wait, what am I saying? Like we want credit for some people brushing ice with a broom while something that looks suspiciously like a bomb slides down the ice... The Canadians, they can have it. yup.

God, I'd love a quiet day.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

I had thyroid issues, way before Opraha made it cool. She's trying to steal my thing!

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