Wednesday, February 6, 2008

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right

When one is craving inspiration, one must be on one's tippiest of toes, alert, aware. For it can be elusive, this sly inspiration - a shadowy figure zipping out of sight, a perfectly turned phrase only half-heard. For the Baroness, it turns up in the weirdest places. Or in the weirdness places. Today's little gem lunged at me whilst I was in the midst of changing the royal linens. I had the music station on the t.v. cranked to 11 - it really does make light of things, la-dee-dah-dee-dah - and the afore-mentioned song came on. If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right. There's some conviction for ya. I will do something completely against social convention, devoid of acceptable behaviour, in the face of correctness because damn - this is a mighty fine thing. Mmm hmm.

You could not possibly believe how quickly my delicate shell-like ears perked up. I would liken it to the Lemonhundt's head when he hears a jar of peanut butter being cracked open. I'm weak with relief that I did not incur a severe case of whiplash. This, it seemed, to be happenstance. And of a strangely appropriate source. Because there is something I love, and the cultured mucketty mucks among you be damned. I don't want to feel right. I confess to you, dear readers, right here and right now - I love television.

And I miss television. Sure, there's still stuff on, but that's the problem - it's just stuff. American Gladiator? Biggest Loser? Celebrity Apprentice? Don't get me wrong - I'm sure that each of these has its positive features, and a niche target audience. I just don't think I'm in the mix. I realized last night as I watched "House", that this was quite possibly the last one filmed before the writers' strike began. The wheels have finally fallen off the cart. The Baroness finds this extremely irksome, as I have in no way, shape, or form even begun to unravel the mystery inside an enigma dressed up as a gimpy riddle that is Gregory House. I watch every week, in naive hope, that he may actually show some indication of a redeeming personal quality. Now, that smallest of hopes is dashed. Wah. And, yes mom, I know that he's just a character on a weekly series, but when I devote so much mental energy to figuring out what makes this guy tick, he's real enough to me.

And what of those fine folks down at the CSI lab? Who's minding the shop in their absence? Will unsolved crime go rampant? I'm sure that it's just a matter of time before all those chip-clickers on the World Tournament of Poker start to lose it & turn on each other and the dealer. I know that I feel vaguely homicidal when I watch for more than 3.6 seconds. Sunglasses inside? Inane conversation, color commentary on rivers and flops and cameras under the table - this is entertainment? I'd much rather stare at a picture of dogs playing Texas Hold'em. (Watch out for that shephard - he's not to be trusted). As for the Las Vegas crew, I'm quite worried about Warrick - has anyone else heard from him lately? He's on a slippery slope, that one.

Someone else I miss in my living room? Lorelei Gilmore. How I miss watching the weekly saga of the The Gilmore Girls unravel - walking the streets of Stars Hollow, waiting for Kirk to do something wacky, listening to the witty repartee between mother and daughter. What would the imperious Emily be doing to throw a wrench in things? And now they're gone, gone, gone. (I know that this has nothing to do with the writers' strike - I just feel like whining a little more). I recently saw a picture of Lauren Graham at the Sundance Film Festival. She seems to have moved on. Pity I haven't.

So now, with my favorite people/characters all suffering from writer-imposed "locked- in syndrome", I have turned to my standbys - some old, some new - the DVD's of all the television shows I love and miss. Which I believe is how this whole thing started in the first place. Love. So complicated. So wrong. Yet so right.


Lisa said...

OK, I admit I'm sucked into some of the reality shows .. the Celeb Apprentice, Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew, Rock of Love, Project Runway, and (oh my God,I'm bowing my head in shame) Wife Swap ... or as Davey Dogs calls it "Trading Mothers." Anyway, I still miss a real show. In fact, I'm getting my fix of good TV by watching reruns of ..... Wings. Ahhhh, now that's some good TV!!!!

If loving bad TV is a crime, send me to jail! .... Babs Peapod

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Babs: Between you, me, the doorpost, and about 30 other people I know, I have my guilty pleasures as well. I do watch Wife Swap - because I'm astonished that these families exist. Yikes. And how could one not love Project Runway? We all sit around saying "Dee-siii-ners!" every time Tim Gunn comes in and cackle our royal tushies off. Mr.Gunn, love ya babe. As for reruns, I borrowed my BIL's Bob Newhart DVD's - you know the old, old ones? In Chicago? With Emily (z"l). And Howard. And Carol. It's so funny and so dated, I love, love, love it. I can remember watching as a kid and thinking that Bob and Emily were the coolest adults on the planet. Huh.

Sandi said...

I LOVE House--one of my favorite shows and am very sad that I have seen the last original episode until the strike is resolved.

I also love CSI, but only the original one. I am not a fan of the New York one and find the Miami one laugh out loud funny, except it's not a comedy.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Sandi: Woe be the person who tunes in to CSI Miami expecting a compelling story. The only drama here revolves around David Caruso taking off his sunglasses. The New York one is too blue. And by blue, I refer to the color, not the emotion. I get a little anxious watching - it looks like they're all suffering from hypothermia!

Anonymous said...

I just recently hooked my tv up after several months without it. I still barely watch it. The only "show" that I watch is LOST. When I do watch the boob tube it's usually tuned in to the Food Network, the History Channel, A&E, or Animal Planet.

I know you think there's something wrong with me for not being a tv lover. It's just not that interesting to me.

Anonymous said...

Oh, speaking of Wife Swap my relatives were on it. I did watch that one.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess SRU: I'm always pretty impressed when I hear that people make a conscious effort not to watch tv. As for thinking something's wrong with you for your choice? Au contraire! I would never pass judgement on non/selective TV watchers. That's not my scene,man. I was addressing all of the pious ilk who think that even the act of owning a tv is imbicilic and grounds for cultural ostracism. I, too, have my Food Network favorites, I watch The Dog Whisperer, I am a Flip This/That/And The Other House addict. So I learn stuff. I love tv because of the possibilities, I guess. That, and I'm a bit of an agoraphobe. Life is for the brave.

i am playing outside said...

i totally love TV. screw movies, TV is all i need. thankfully, i DO like American Gladiators and Celebrity apprentice, so i'm not going completely mad. also, Survivor and Big Brother are starting up, so that's more to watch! woo!

they're not shows to take seriously, but they're nice to relax to when i just need a break.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count Outside: My sentiments exactly
(except for the BB thing, but that's just me)! We all need a break. And not all of us unwind by cracking open a '67 Bordeaux and the Economist.

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