Monday, September 22, 2008

My Fascinating Monday

Who out there thinks that the Baroness has the utterly fabulous life of a noble - filled with cabana boys, personal chefs, (cordial) corporate takeovers , frivoulous shopping trips , and hourly mani/pedis?

Well, my friends, I hate to burst your bubble, but you would be mistaken.

Sadly mistaken.

So very, very mistaken.

We have no pool (although, we have a fountain...)

And our shed could be considered a cabana (with a mother of a wasp's nest inside. And maybe a mouse) (who's eating the bird seed).

Personal chef? Check.

Giovanni Boy-ar-dee - take a bow.

Capricious buying? Hmm - there was that decision to buy the topsoil with compost in it.

Below please find my alibi-establishing/dreary accounting of the day thus far:

. Got up at the butt-crack of dawn to visit my diet clinic/Vitamin B pusher. Willingly lifted my skirt to have a shot in the ass. Glamourous!!

. Made Duke 2's lunch. Improvised, then heavily marketed the protein element - Brie cheese is not just for effete art students who have renamed themselves Mistral. Creative!

. Made my breakfast - egg white omelette. Delicious and nutritious!

. Contemplated washing pan and unloaded dishwasher. Nixed both. Decisive!

. Plopped disgusting gelatinous dog food in pet's bowl. Courageous!

. Booked it to yoga class; butted in line (unwittingly) to pay drop-in fee. Assertive!

. Came home, loaded up dog and gardening supplies (this is not going where you think it may be), and drove to my mother-in-law's to do some fall clean-up gardening. Philanthropic!

. Got flowers for host of dinner we're going to tonight. Socially PC!

. Finished last chapter of book while still ignoring growing pile of dishes on the counter and sink. Self-centered!

. Decided, after an entire day of wondering what to write, to basically write nothing. Minimalistic! Unapologetic!

I know, huh?

I can barely keep up with myself.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part II of Livin' La Vida Loca - If It's Tuesday, It Must be Towel-Warshin' Day.

The excitement never ends.



Mental P Mama said...

Well it looks pretty full to me. I think you should have squeezed a massage in there somewhere.

{i}Post said...

Wow! You are a woman of many er....descriptions!

I started the book, The Almost Moon, yesterday! Hooked!

Asthmagirl said...

How did you know I was thinking of you?
You really must stop by tomorrow (Tuesday). If you can find time in your hectic schedule!


Formerly Fun said...

That was brillant. I'm jealous, I'm feeling totally uninspired at the moment.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess MPM: Did somebody say the magic "M" word? Unfortunately for me, my massage comes in the form of massage therapy - you know, the one that feels awesome - when she stops?

Countess iPost: Yes, I am many, many descriptions. It all depend on the medication o' the day...

Countess AG: How DID I know you were thinking of me? I had a inexplicable urge to photograph nachos, then eat them. Weird.

Countess FF: What, oh, great manscaper? Jealous of my day? I strongly urge you to rethink that stand, beautiful. I, for one, would love to read even your shopping list. I <3 you that much!!

Cormac Brown said...

I noticed how you talked around "Raoul, The Cabana Boy," but the Baron has complained early and often of Raoul's presence.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count Cormac: VERY astute observation - I can see you have a mystery writer's keen eye for the thinly-veiled subterfuge.

I am not allowed, thanks to the mid-nuptial agreement, to speak of any such former "employee".

But I'm still allowed to have paella.

And I do. With mucho gusto!

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