Friday, January 23, 2009

Oops - I Didn't See You There, Miss Barbeau...

One of my friends had a father-in-law who used to look out the window on winter days like this and say in his best BBC golf/British Open voice (you know the one when Tiger Woods is putting for eleventy-five gajillion dollars?) :
"My God, Carol!
The FOG!".

OK, you kind of had to be there.

Well no.

I think you really needed to be there.

Now that I think of it, I'm certain that there is some sort of amusing anecdote that went along with this story, but I forgot it and I'm not going to make one up (even though you wouldn't know).

Because I have principals, that's why.

So, anyway. I wanted to share this with you, and thought that I could possibly cobble a story around the theme of fog.

I was going to make it like one of those wicked clickety click weather films we used to see in Grade 8 Science, and tell you that fog begins to form when water vapor (a colorless gas) condenses into tiny liquid water droplets in the air. Conversely, water vapor is formed by the evaporation of liquid water or by the sublimation of ice.


Hey, there.

Now that's a hoity-toity word...

But no. Without an AV nerd to help me with the projector, I am... dare I say it?

...In a fog.

(oh yes I did. Oh ho ho. I am such a hoot).

And then I thought, instead I'll ask you, all Bill Nye the Science Guy-like - did you know that the thickness of fog is largely determined by the altitude of the inversion boundary, which in coastal or oceanic locales is also the top of the marine layer, above which the airmass is warmer and drier?

Huh? Did ya?

Do you even care?

I don't even think I do. And I'm supposed to be Bill Nye The Science Guy.

Really - this edu-mackatin' of y'all isn't for me.

There will be no lessons from Baroness, especially on a Friday.

Not when all you're thinking about is where to go for dinner or "should I paint the ceiling beige?".

Sadly, the only other thing I could think of on short notice was the craptacular John Carpenter movie of the 80's (one of the Baron's favorite, thanks to Ms. Barbeau's persuasive, er, co-stars...).

This was my city at 7:30 am Wednesday morning, taken from one of our local mountains (not by me - hello, 7:30?)


(Are you kidding?):

We are in Day 4 of the Neverending Fog (or thereabouts; I've broken my makeshift pencil that I was "x"ing off the days with on the walls of the laundry room).

I have to say, I'm a little conflicted about it all.

While the ceaseless misty gloom is seriously messing with my SAD, my skin has never looked more glow-y.


thetravelingb said...

I drove through a fog in ladner, BC and couldn't even see the hood of my car. It is scared the bjeebers out of me. Wondering am I on the road, if so am I on the right side of the road, am I going to hit another car and so on and so on. I don't like driving to begin with.......being the optimist I will say fog is better than driving in white out blizzard you won't freeze to death in a fog or drive into a snow bank......oh *hi* I forgot for a moment that I live in Minnesota and I drove to work yesterday in the fog and if I had driven into a ditch Imight have frozen to death. Maybe I should sign up for metro mobility do you think they would take me

Mental P Mama said...

Thanks. Now I'm just going to have visions of Adrienne Barbeau flitting through my head all day.

Baroness von B said...

Countess of YY: I'm not really sure that it's prudent to be sharing your driving fears with the public.

As for the mobility bus - you would no doubt be their most entertaining passenger - and you would have candy to share with everyone!

Countess MPM: Better Adrienne than those horrid maxi-coats that Bea Arthur used to wear...

Mental P Mama said...

Oh no! Those maxi dusters! Now I have that there, too;)

Baroness von B said...

Countess MPM: And what about "And then there's Maude"...Chuck that onto the pile!

Cormac Brown said...

I love the fog and I'd gladly trade you, except it is raining here now.

asthmagirl said...

You can have my fog. I half expect the Hound of the Baskervilles to emerge from the misty woods across from our house at any moment... followed of course by Watson. Or Charlie Chan. Or Maude (and those dreadful maxi vests). At this point even Adrienne Barbeau would be an improvement over this never ending gloom.

Unless she's accompanied by her swamp monster. Too B Movie!

Grace said...

I'm in the Fraser Valley and it has been gloriously sunny for the last nearly two weeks! We did have some fog last night but clear blue skies this morning! Take a drive out if you are missing the sun!

A Spot of T said...

That picture is so cool! I'm not a big fan of the fog. Driving in it that is. Sitting in my home looking out the window at it is ok. Even walking in it is pretty neat. Until someone drives by and just about hits me. Stupid fog. Stupid drivers.

Dale said...

My God, Carol! The BLOG!

Love that. I often have pronouncements that I've forgotten the origins of, doesn't slow me down at all.

Baroness von B said...

Count Cormac: I see your fog, and I raise you rain and frickin' sub-zero temperatures...

You in?

Countess AG: There are days when I am very thankfully tucked in my little slice of suburbia, rather than be in some semi-isolated M. Night Shymalan movie set.

That being said, we've had a few glorious sunny days of late. Cold, but sunny. THAT I can live with.

Countess Grace: Ah, the beautiful Valley de Fraser. You might hog all of the sunny days, but aren't y'all the first ones to get the huge snowfalls?

Countess of Tea: I kind of dig the driving in it, as long as I'm not
expected anywhere in a hurry. But I do not dig it hanging around all day. When I rule the world, it will be gone by noon, and that is that.

Count Passionate: HA!

Maybe it was "My God, Carol! The Frog!".

I simply can't remember, and am far too lazy to check my sources.

Yuh. I am one kickass investigative reporter. Look for my article in MacLean's ANY day now...

Lisa said...

Speaking of fog, I'm glad I've emerged from mine just in time to see that wayyy spectacular photo of your city immersed in cloud and an orange horizon. Very very cool. ....babspeapod

Baroness von B said...

Countess Babs: Omigod, Omigod, Omigod - it's YOU!!!! Yay!!

It is an amazing photo - especially from that perspective.

Underneath? Not so fab.

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