Monday, March 2, 2009

Lessons from La Liberace, Part II

Darlings!

Here I am again, your Decent Docent of All Things Shiny and Spectacular.

The image above is taken from a tasteful lady's handbag being sold at The Liberace Museum Gift Shop. I included it to illustrate to all you non-believers out there what a sexy beast Mr. L really was. Check out the boobage - not a hint of nip anywhere. Dude sure knew how to work it.

Now those of you who wish to give your eyeballs a gentle bleaching before we proceed, please do so know in an orderly fashion. We'll wait.

Originally, I was going to blow all of your minds with the Costume Portion of the program.

But my editor has suggested that I leave the best for last.

And I always listen to my editor.

Because otherwise he poops on the floor when I'm out, that's why.

So.

Today.

The Awards.

I must say, the word that comes to mind when I entered the Awards area of the Liberace Museum was intriguing.

Why, you may ask?

Well, for one, I never realized that the King Of Bling had won these:

Uh huh. They read "Best Entertainment Program - The Liberace Show", and "Most Outstanding Male Personality 1953".

Hmm. While I'll agree with the "Personality", which he obviously had in spades, I have been reading that La Lee was not one to be standing out anywhere. He was quite comfy in way back in his , um, armoire with his feathered capes and rhinestone booties (I hear it smelled like lilacs and coconuts in there...).

In his acceptance speech*, "'after thanking his mother, his brother, his managers and the television station producers, he also thanked his sponsor 'The Citizens National Bank, whose product I admire' " .

Oh ho ho, what a saucy chappy, our Liberace. Knew the value of cross-marketing.

Not happy to rest on his bedazzled laurels, Mr. Fancy also was the proud recipient of this:

(complete with a reference letter for the Papal Venetian Cape Maker, Gianfranco diGeeGaw)

and this:

(I'm not even going to mention the irony here...)

and this:

The Canadian equivalent of an Emmy.
No kidding.
Really.


Dare I say it?

Take a gander!

Oh ho ho, I think the Baroness has been breathing in too many costume preservatives...

There were a couple of awards missing from the Museum, for respectively obvious reasons.

First were the 2 stars on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. I mean, c'mon, whadda they gonna do? Tear up the sidewalk? That would just set a nasty precedent.

But if you should ever find yourself trodding along Hollywood Boulevard between McCadden and Las Palmas, you will see them glittering up at you. Who am I kidding? You can probably see them from space.

Just remember - step lightly.

Mince, even.

The second award I did not see in the Grand Hall of Accomplishments (or maybe just didn't take a picture of) was the coveted "Golden Mike" awards, given to Liberace in 1981 by the Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters.

Strangely, it seemed to disappear shortly after being presented.


Coming up on Tour de Force Tuesday: Baby You Can Drive My Car...

Until then, Be Fabulous!!!


*from the book "Liberace: An American Boy" by Darden Asbury Pyron

9 comments:

Joe said...

Were you really at teh Liberace museum in fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada? I'm envious! The Liberace museum was second only to Elvis-A-Rama among favorite off-strip attractions in LV.

Anonymous said...

Count of Tiki: I was! And let me tell you, at $13, it was the Deal of the Century!! I want to live there, and dance around in his clothes after hours. That doesn't sound too weird, does it?

Elvis-A-Rama was also on our itinerary, until I read that it was closed. Like forever closed. Wah.

Mental P Mama said...

Well, I've been on a tour of Graceland. Does that count? What happened to the Golden Mike, or is it unspeakable?

Anonymous said...

Count MPM: OF COURSE Graceland counts! I hear that it is one of the Top 10 Kitsch Wonders of the World.

As for the award, I do not really know where it is. Or if it disappeared. But you know how magicians pull pennies out of people's ears? And how Las Vegas is rife with magicians?

Just sayin'.

Blog Antagonist said...

You're making me laugh. One of my girlfriends, a true Southern Belle, feels about Elvis the way you feel about Liberace. Thanks to her, I know way more than I ever wanted to about him. But her loyalty and dedication is admirable. I've never paid much attention to Liberace, but it does seem that he had a wicked sense of humor.

Driftwood and Pumpkin said...

You are my hero. I so wish I could write like you!

Hugs and lovin,
Your greatest admirer

Anonymous said...

Countess BA: I am so gleeful that I am making you laugh. Lest you think I'm some kind of fanatic, I have only ever been vaguely interested in Liberace; it was one of the few things we hadn't seen in Vegas, and the kitsch value was too good to pass up.

Countess Tracey: I only write like I speak (with a lot less expletives; seriously I am a longshoreman at heart). I'm pretty sure that I'm no different than any of the zillion writers out there, but I am very pleased that you enjoy it so much. Keep the warm fuzzies coming!

Anonymous said...

I'm finding Liberace fascinating through your eyes! Great stuff.

Anonymous said...

Countess iMom: Then my job is done.

 
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