Friday, July 31, 2009

Say Cheese Or Something

Here in vonBloggenschtern world, we do not do 'normal' very well.

Take photography, for example.

Why on earth would we ever ask the people whose souls we're about to steal with a Minolta, "Say Cheese?", when there are so many other fascinating words out there, begging to be used?

A game we've recently come to play is the "America's Next Top Model" photo shoot.

Official family photographer, Duke #2, will shout out a certain genre that we have to emulate.

Let me illustrate:

He says "Commercial!".

She does this:
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful. Cover Girl.

He requests "Catalogue!"

She poses thusly:

Work it... work it....

And when Duke #2 barks out "COUTURE!"

I do this:

Kind of a hot mess, non?

Like I said, there are some things we vonB's don't do well...

(I promise to work on this while in the City of Angels next week - I hear there are lots of posers down there.)


imom said...

Great post! A group of us had a conversation about saying cheese for a photograph recently.

"Why? Where did it come from? Don't you think it makes you look strained when you say it? There's got to be something better!"

Now I know there is something better! Love the model photo shoot!

Mental P Mama said...

The Baroness has got it goin' on!

♥~♥ Nine Acres ♥~♥ said...

Wooooooweeeee! I hear America's Next Top Model banging on your door.


big hair envy said...

"Pretty in Pink"? Molly Ringwald has NOTHING on the Baroness!!!

Word Verification: hyperty
"Hi, Perty!"

baronessvonb said...

Countess iMom: I KNOW! What is the deal with cheese??

Countess MPM: Yes. Yes, I do have something goin' on. I think it's called the "Self-Administered Heimlich Maneuver"

Countess T: I think that's actually the fashion police for crimes against humanity.

Countess BHE: Ah, you Southerns and your senses of humour. You slay me.

As for the Molly Ringwald reference, it's more like "Moronic in Magenta"!

Daryl said...

Its all in the shoulders .. throw -gently, maybe for you, a toss- them back not forward, you have the rest down perfectly including the persimmon mouth move not ever to be attempted by a novice poseur

Living on the Spit said...

Instead of cheese, you should have said, "pruuuunesss" and yes, the shoulders back...not forward.

But I still think you are fabulous Michelle Pfeifer (sp?).

Grandma J said...

You look gorgeous, dawlink! Have fun in LA. Hang out at the Grove and look for stars.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Looking good chicka!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Next time, yell Tyra Mail! LOL

Anonymous said...

Your cheek bones are to die for. Are you being attacked by that sweater!

Tres Chic!

PS ~ Are you hitting San Diego or will I be alone with only half a brain?

baronessvonb said...

Countess D: Shoulders back? I might poke someone eye's out with my boobs!!

This is some expert advice - I can't wait for the next "ANTM" photo shoot!!

Countess of the Land Mass: Pruuuunes, huh? Well, that might explain my facial expression...

Countess Grandma: This is the second reference I've heard about the Grove - I am SO there!

Countess NNG: Oh, hon - put on your cheaters.

Countess NATUI: Hah! I TOTALLY forgot about Tyra Mail! Although Duke 2, Me and my niece have all the Ms. Jay mannerisms down pat.

Countess AG: I AM, in fact, experiencing that phenomenon "When Sweaters Go Wild".

What am I missing about the San Diego reference? Are you there too??? Send me an e-mail to let me know the dates. Maybe we can get our half-wits back together.

Patois said...

I tell you, I ADORE the catalogue pose!

Anonymous said...

This made me literally ROFL because our family does this far too often.
I am oh so saddened to not be a part of this trip. =(

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Patois: Isn't she just so very marvy? I am one lucky auntie.

Countess Schmee: See Not Afraid To Use It's comment above - why do we NOT do this? We will from now on.

I was sad that you weren't there too.
But you know who was happy? The accounting dept of SFU, that's who. You were the one who was truly workin' it...

TSannie said...

So very....well...high fashion! ;-)

baronessvonb said...

Countess Annie: Yeah, high fashion...We'll just go with that...
At least my sister-in-law and niece looked glam. Me? Well, I'll just say what my verification word is - Mersy!

Cormac Brown said...

"Kind of a hot mess, non?"

Mais, oui. You have that "the gruyere in the crepes wasn't quite right" look.

Country Girl said...

Ohhhh, that's what it is. Persimmon mouth. Now I get it.

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

I just finished reading "Moose" by Stephanie Klein, a memoir about her summers at "fat camp." She found extreme irony in how anyone would say "cheese!" to make the campers smile - the same campers who were on a strict diet, whose food intake was carefully monitored, whose stomachs grumbled...

Yep, hot mess indeed.

Blog Antagonist said...

Hot mess? Girlfriend, you should see the pictures I take. I am hands down, the LEAST photogenic person on the planet. It's sort of a running joke between husband and me.

stacy said...

this is my most favourite EVER!

as i'm the resident photog around here i'm constantly barking orders at my models...

"make it sexy!"

"like you mean it!"


but i've never thought of THE america's next top model genres!

it's going to take my work to a whole new level.

Audrey at Barking Mad said...

The next time I get asked to shoot senior portraits I'm going to come back and point out this post and say, "can you work it like that?" Otherwise, what's the point? *lol*

Oiy! What's up with my word verification? Oink? For real? Seriously?

well read hostess said...

This is a) brilliant and b) evidence that your family is more fun than mine.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count Cormac: Either that Gruyere comment is completely random, or you have a freakish memory of my story about the cheese in France. Your assessment - magnifique!

Countess Country Girl: Not a fan of persimmons, I'm guessing? With me, it would be stinky cheese face.

Countess Soupy: What should have been said - "Cottage Cheese"? "Rice Cake"? "Bean Sprout"?

Camp can be a cruel place - fat or not.

Countess BA: I HAVE seen the pictures of you, and you are far from Hot Mess status, my dearest. You smile with your eyes - and what lovely orbs they are.

Countess Stacy: "JAZZ HANDS" = Brilliant!!! Why did I not think of that? We do JH quite a bit around here, but I've never thought to incorporate them into photographic evidence. Will have to mention that to the official fam photog - Thanks!!

Countess Audrey: I think that a gallery would SO snap up a series of seniors working it as "Catalogue" and "Couture" - you could be the next Diane Arbus!!

Countess WRH: We certainly are a large, obnoxious clan of whack-a-doodles when we get together. Woe be the bystander hoping for peace and quiet. ;)

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