Monday, September 28, 2009

Not so Fast

People often ask me, "Baroness, how do you manage to be such a staunch animal activist supporter and spiritual observer?"

Well, let me tell all those inquiring minds out there - people, it is hard.

And thanks to one Miss Brigitte Bardot, it just got a little bit harder.

Some facts:

1) Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. In observance, we fast until sunset.

2) At sunset, Jewish families all over the world will choose a celebratory meal; delicious, nutritious and easy-to-digest.

3) My favorite Break-The-Fast meal? Seal Flipper Pie. It is a true slice of Canadiana.

4) My favorite condiment for #3? Maple Syrup. Seriously. Maple Syrup = Nectar of the Gods.

Feces* would be edible with maple syrup.

Yet, according to Miss Brigitte and PETA, I should be boycotting the Canadian Maple Syrup manufacturers until Canada agrees to ban the slaughter of seals.

According to the actress, "...ethical reactions from consumers can sometimes convince a government or a corporation to change the way that it does business."

Well, even though I have all day to do nothing but reflect and meditate? I'll tell you, I'm going to have a hard time chewing over this one.

(* I'm just guessing on this one)


Mental P Mama said...

...And did you know today was Brigitte's 75th birthday?? Hope you have a nice holiday.

baronessvonb said...

Countess Mama: Well, isn't that just some cruel poetic justice? Bitch tells me what I can't eat, on a day I can't eat, while she's stuffing her piehole with birthday cake. I wanna cry.

(verif word: deticali - kind of like "delicate-y", but not so much)

Candy said...

Are seal flippers something you can just pick up at the grocery store in your neck of the woods?

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

I think you've come upon a grand idea for an entirely new product line. For example:

Reese's Feces - a bag full of chocolatey goodness;

Potato Shits and Dip - a lower fat alternative to the standard chip

Crapcakes - for all you seapooed lovers out there

OK, I'm stopping now.

Here's to something delightful for dinner tonight that does not involve feces but perhaps does involve maple syrup.

Living on the Spit said...

O.M.G. I don't know what is funnier...your post or the comment left from CBW.

Hope you have a wonderful evening, sweetheart and yes...CANADIAN maple syrup is just that good.

Cormac Brown said...

Brigitte's husband, Bernard d'Ormale was an advisor with the Nation Front party, and that party openly hangs out with anti-Semites. She has spoken openly in magazines against "gene mixing."

The wonderful things that she has done for animals, has been canceled out with her some of narrow views of human beings and who she shares her bed with. Brigitte lost credibility with me ages ago.

baronessvonb said...

Countess Candy: Local grocery, 7-11's, gas stations...they're everywhere!


However, I DO live on the West Coast; I cannot vouch for what goes down in the East.

Countess CBW: Ooh, girl - you are on FIRE today!!! And if I would have been able to attend the Oysterfest, you would see how much I love seapooed.

Countess of The Land Mass: I do believe that CBW is shanghai-ing my post away from me. But that's ok, because I'm tired today and after just finished our meal, will be momentarily going into a food coma. Urp.

Count Cormac: Gene mixing? Yikes. What exactly do people have to boycott to make that happen? Matzah crackers? Brooklyn? The United Nations? I can't help but think that she's been hit upside the head one too many times by her funbags while she's jogging...

well read hostess said...

I need CBW to come and teach a lesson in punning to my ninth graders...who are little shits, so they'd totally get it.

sara-grey said...

holy crap there is an actual recipe for seal flipper pie. well geeze am i ever out of the culinary loop.

baronessvonb said...

Countess WRH: With me as her straightman, we'd get that class, er, moving in no time.

Countess S-G: I KNOW! I thought this was just a myth from the movie "The Shipping News". Who knew? I bet somewhere in New Brunswick, some blogger is marvelling over the fact that there is such a thing as a Nanaimo Bar (that does not serve alcohol).

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