Friday, December 4, 2009

Fleet Farm! Friday


Not a word that exists in the lexicon of Fleet Farm.

This mission statement of this mecca of awesomeness involves ensuring that any possible outdoorsy endeavor anyone ever chooses to pursue will be as successful as that time when Arnold Ziffel left Green Acres to go to Hollywood.

Yeah, that successful.

Say, for example, you want to grow tomatoes.

Fleet Farm's got your seeds. Probably 2 or 3 aisles of seeds, as a matter of fact. Brown Derbys, Jaune Flammes, Green Zebras, Blood Gulches - they've got 'em all. They've got your rabbit manure fertilizer and iron shavings soil supplements. They've got your DIY greenhouse (and the tools to build it) to lovingly nurture those beautiful little seedlings from frail babies into strapping juicy Kentucky Beefsteaks. From the hot house to your table, all courtesy of the fine products of Fleet Farm.

Say you want grow little hunters.

You start early, dressing them in t-shirts like this:

I don't what I love more - the antlers he's clutching,
or Bambi's mom giving him the stinkeye in the background.

and making sure Santa brings them one of these for Christmas:

(each purchase comes with a free Ted Nugent CD anthology!)
(while supplies last!)

(forget the damned puppy. Fleet Farm don't sell no stinkin' puppies....)

I have to say, during my recent FF visit, every aisle I turned down was an education.

For instance, even though I have been known to dabble a little bit in gardening , I was not aware that in order to grow these:

All you need is a bag of this:

Looks like I'm going into the cattle ranching business.

Fleet Farm!!


Countess of YY Loves Her FF said...

They are having a HUGE sale At Fleet Farm this weekend. I am thinking heading over and getting another pair of flannel lined jeans as it is getting Minnesota cold here!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Does this Fleet Farm sell Handyman Starter? I need to grow a row or three of those.

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