Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I'm Ready For My Closeup, Mr. DeMille

Right Front.

Left Front.

To the Side, right.

To the Side, left.

Click. Click. Click. Click.

It's all over for another year. Easy peasy x-ray squeezy.

Another updated set of funbag shots for the Mammography Mugbook.

And, I can assure you - beyond the shadow of a doubt - they cannot look any worse than this:

Those of you readers out there who have yet to schedule your first mammogram, please don't listen to all the jibber jabber out there. About how it's so cold, you should practice sleeping naked on the garage floor mid-winter (it's a little brisk, not so much as your nerples are going to freeze and fall off). Don't believe that you should have someone back a car over your boobage to get used to the squished feeling (yes it's a tad awkward, but it's not impossible).

Truth be told, as tests go, it's neither horrible nor is it excruciatingly painful. Moreover - it's necessary. Get 'er done, ladies!! Make it a New Year's resolution.

Finally, in the "Why Didn't I think of This EARLIER?" department, I should have brought a bottle of maple syrup to give to the technician. If she appeared quizzical, I would clarify: "If you're gonna squish them like pancakes, we may as well have something to go with them...".

Next year...


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

So very true, how necessary it is. Thank you for the reminder.

Also thank you for saying NERPLES, which is now my new favorite word.

Sausage might make a nice accompaniment to the pancakes and syrup--that sweet and salty thing--but I'm thinking sausages are not really a part of the whole mammography exam. Prostate, maybe.

word ver: enexu. The Baroness is going to enexu, CBW, if you don't shut up.

Diane said...

I've already had my close up this year. And I'm looking for a new movie set. The girls deserve better than the last cameraman who was a little (a lot) rough. Pass the syrup.

Countess YY said...

maybe because you have big girls it isn't to painful..when you start with flat pancakes and they try to spread it on a plate...enough said..stil you gotta do what you gotta do and it is only once a year....I think if men had to have their frank and beans scanned and flattened we would have better technology....

Country Girl said...

They're much easier than people think. Thanks for the reminder.

And thank you God that I look like who I am and not Mr. Nolte here.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Love the syrup thing. I have yet to have my first, but I think I will bring a bottle when I finally do.

baronessvonb said...

Countess CBW: You. Crack. Me. Up.
Let's be sure that at least one breakfast during this year's BF has pancakes, maple syrup, and sausages.

Countess Diane: Oh, those unions. You never know who'll be the handler from one day to the next.

Countess YY: Boo hoo hoo. I am so sorry that your girls are petite and mine are not. Not. I also think that the man who named the equipment 'Mammo-Mat" should be beseiged by angry women, big-boobed and little-boobed alike.

Countess CG: Yes, thank God.

Countess NATUI: Maybe lingonberry instead? Represent.

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