Monday, February 1, 2010

My City Monday

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Well, it certainly is Monday.

And here in our wee corner of earth, somewhere betwixt the Starbucks mothership and Sarah Palin territory, the excitement is getting pret-ty darned crazy.

You know that phrase, 'Busier than a one-armed paper hanger'?

Well, imagine about 100,000 one-armed paper hangers, planting and cementing and hammering and paving and volunteering and basically whipping themselves into a collective frenzy to get everything all shiny and ready for this upcoming sporting event that will soon overtake us all. You'd think it was a big deal or something.

Big or no, we are the party hosts doing that last-minute, crazed tidying: dusting the surfaces with our shirtsleeves, chucking undesirable viewing material into cupboards, stacking the unneeded into the garage, filling the icebuckets and hoping like hell that no one shows up early.

(whatever you do, please don't look in that closet in the Valley - that's where we moved the homeless)(just for now...)

Anyways...

Things are afoot. (askate?)(aboot?)

And, as one of the many Unofficial Blogosphere Ambassadors to the 2010 Winter Olympics, I will attempt to keep you in the loop.

The loopy loop, as it were.

For as is the privilege of one so connected as myself, I have been told* that I may have press access to some of our fine Canadian Olympic athletes.

Look for upcoming interviews with Vivi Kocher, Biathalon. Jodianna Tomie, Skeleton. Christina LaRoche, Women's Curling. Sam Sean White, Snowboarding.

Maybe even Sidney Crosby.

I think he has something to do with Men's Figure Skating. (Loved, loved, LOVED his father's music).

Don't worry - I'll get this all figured out. And when I do - I promise you that I will bring you the goods.

Because I can.

Because they're here.

In my city.


* 'I have been told': A very useful phrase which I first learned from this wise sage - it covers a multitude of misperceptions and potentially humbling observations.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was just saying yesterday, "I wonder how much a hotel room in Vancouver is going for the next few weeks, if there are any?" I dread to think. :)

Shelley Jaffe said...

Countess VA: I will only charge you a mere $500 a night - a great deal if ever there was one.

The pleasure of my company alone usually goes for much, much more.

Gah. That didn't sound wrong at all!

Speaking of 'the trade', our local paper expects a boom in said industry over the next few weeks. If I were you, I'd save the hotel $ and invest in whatever medical company sells anti-crabs ointment and/or Amoxycillin.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

That same wise sage taught me some very valuable lessons, such as saying "prunes" while posing for the camera.

Shelley said...

Countess CBW: Come now - surely there are some other lessons you'd like to share, hmmm? 'How to Successfully Drunk Dial New York', or 'Clam Dodging 101'?

Cormac Brown said...

Did J. Otto Siebold of "Olive The Other Reindeer" fame, design the Olympics mascot?

Shelley said...

Count Cormac: No kidding! I think he may have collaborated with the fine folks at Sanrio. Pacific Rim = Cutesy cultural representation. Look for their new line coming to a store near you: 'Hello, Quatchie'

Mental P Mama said...

Well, I have been told that wise sages are a dime a dozen these days;)

Grace said...

Thanks for sending all the homeless to the Valley. We already had plenty of our own!

Shelley said...

Countess MPM: Your wisdom, my darling, is rare and beautiful :)

Countess Grace: Ummmm...the more the merrier? Sorry!

 
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