Thoughtful Thursday

(photo source here)

"All I have to do is be,
and all I have to be is who I am"

I encountered this potent phrase during a yoga retreat this past summer. It had a lot of resonance with me, as every waking moment of my day is usually consumed with attempts at over-achieving.

Please note that I say 'attempts' now, because I'm starting to realize that the intention behind an action is sometimes just as important as the action itself.

So, on the brink of an eve where a lot of people will make lengthy lists that intend to completely revolutionize their lives, I urge them - and you - to take a baby step back. While still remaining optimistic, be realistic.

Be kind to yourself.

Because, with a little self-reflection - the truth of who you are?

Probably pretty amazing already.

Just be.

The Queen of Queef*

Are you there, God?

It's me, Baroness.

So, hey? I've got a couple of issues to discuss with you, regarding the attributes that you have so kindly seen fit to bestow upon me.

Was it not enough that you gave my hands an other-worldly, reptilian texture, thereby making me the social pariah of elementary school?

Then was it not enough that you made my colon so accomodating that I not only could entertain a gajillion strains of healthy bacteria, but be the hostess with the mostest for their trailer-park cousin, cancer?

Was that not enough to amuse you? Did that not give you mirth and satisfaction as you tossed humility and despair onto my character-building pile?

Did you not think, at that point, that I had become enough of an evolved individual?

Now this.

This I'm finding really hard to get over.

Apparently, in your infinite wisdom, you deem it necessary that I add "Chatty Uterus" to my repetoire.

Here's where I finally balk. Enough, already.

I've had it, and I'm officially giving you the "thanks but no thanks".

Yup, me.

Oh, yeah. Me.

And the 20 other women in my yoga class.

The ones who have the pleasure of eavesdropping on my no-good, no-sounds-barred, filibustin' no-no.

Dude. C'mon. This really has to stop.

Because for once, I don't think you're getting the big picture.

You know how they say that the beating of one butterfly's wings can unleash a hurricane on the other side of the world?

Let me just reveal that, thanks to your new "gift", I am destroying a signficant chunk of the Australian Outback.

For the love of You, please make it stop.


*queef: syn - vart. (figure it out, people)