The Beauty of Memory

Quite early in our friendship, the Good Countess of Yik Yak introduced me to the fine art of scrapbooking.

I must admit, I had previously maintained that this endeavour was only done by rural women and shut-ins. That really - no one would every choose to do this as a creative outlet unless they had run out of DoodleArt posters and macrame string.

I was mistaken.

Sorely mistaken.

On the contrary, this handicraft lays itself open in a boundless arena of potential. And the Baroness is all about potential. Yes she is.

Scrapbooking truly is an amazing art, and those who are passionate about it do it so well; they manage to sift through a wide array of magnificent materials, techniques both ancient and cutting edge and breathtaking layouts to sculpt meaningful tributes to those things they hold the dearest:

Newborns:

(source: Angelica's Gallery)

Young Wanderers:

(source: earlofoxford)

Pets:

(source: DogArtist)

Family Elders:

Happy Monday, oh Patient ones!!

Cling, Cling, Cling Went the Mommy....

Prologue
Here's a fascinating factum about the Baroness - I'm an e-mail hoarder.

This has the Baron rather worried, as he sees this tendency as a gateway towards more troubling, potentially dangerous hoarding. You know the one - where the newspapers and magazines are bundled up willy-nilly 7 feet high and create a maze throughout the hallways of the house.

He can rest easy - for now. What I'm hoarding is strictly information. Because I hate getting rid of something that I could potentially learn something from. Let me explain.

Every day, I get an e-mail newsletter from Yoga Journal - sometimes it's a "Daily Insight", sometimes it's a "Wisdom" piece.

It is virtually impossible for me to devote the time I need to actually read these articles with the intention and attention I wish to revere them with. So I fire them into my "To Read" file.

Another intriguing trait? I'm a little on the OCD side. Meaning, I had to get a certain number of these e-mails in my To Read file before I could begin reading them. On the day that I got to 52, (which means I could read and reflect on one per week), I didn't get the time to sit down and start, so I had to start all over again. The next magic number? 104. You guessed it, 2 articles a week.

Only this time, when I reached 104, I did have the time. And so it began.

Actual Post
The date of the e-mail is March 3, 2008.

The title of the article is "Embrace Reality", penned by a certain Frank Jude Boccio.

The gist of the article refers to non-attachment and equanimity and how they relate to Buddha's 5 Remembrances (see below).

What I find most compelling about how all these things came together - Duke 2 being away, me secretly pining for his happiness and enjoyment, Duke 1 readying for leaving home, me finally getting down to reading this swack of e-mails - is the exquisite timing of it all.

It cannot be mere coincidence.

The sentence which hit me like a bolt from the blue was this one:
"Once you accept the reality of impermanence, you begin to realize that grasping and clinging are suffering, as well as the causes of suffering, and with that realization you can let go and celebrate life. The problem is not that things change, but that you try to live as if they don't."

Wow.

This is something so simple - so incredibly commonsense - yet so soul-stirring and revolutionary for me.

My clinging, my wishing my boy-men could always stay within hug's length of my heart, my hoping that things between us would always be the same - it's all for naught. For to move ahead, to grow, to experience, to evolve, we must be in a constant state of flux.

Another quote I loved:
"As your insight into impermanence deepens you start to see the truth of the "no-separate-self." When you can extend beyond the limits you've created you see that your life is not really "yours" but all of life itself manifesting through you."

Yes. Manifesting through you - in a state of impermanence.

I do not have ownership of my children; I'd like to call them mine, but while they are but a infinitesimal part of me, they are truly their own beings, with their own paths to walk.

I am now starting to fully appreciate the wonder and awe of having them share our lives for a time, but I am also starting to accept that impermanence is a fact of living.

And that fact is far more fascinating than hoarding or strange rituals, don't you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Five Remembrances

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
by Thich Nhat Hanh in The Plum Village Chanting Book (Parallax Press, 1991)