Thoughtful Thursday

Try as I might to the contrary, even after all this time, I'm still left a little at odds once I hit that "Publish Post" button.

I am besieged by "What Ifs" and "So, Now Whats" and my personal favorite, "Does This Really Matter?"

So when I came across this little piece in my recent Yoga Journal, it threw down a mental gauntlet to challenge me. Maybe it can make us all think a little bit about the big picture:

"When faced with a challenge, a helpful mind-set can be found in the concept of Ishvara pranidhana, or nonattachment to the fruits of one's actions. As the ancient sage Patanjali says...Ishvara pranidhana can be a powerful approach that affects the way we approach every action we take.

Patanjali advises us to focus on the quality of an act, rather than on its outcome, leaving the 'fruits' of our actions to something greater.

From this perspective, everything we do becomes an opportunity for practice: We do the very best we can, whether we're running a race, giving a big presentation, or doing the dishes. Regardless of the outcome, the mind is calm, clear, and present because our joy comes from the act itself, rather than the result."

Kate Holcombe
Yoga Journal June 2009

The Sun Will Come Out - You Know When

Something I said I might do - someday.

A veritable picture of the of-the-moment Baroness:



That's me in the corner.

That's me in the dark light - losing my religion.

I now enter the dark, 2 week phase between having my routine blood work done and getting the results.

Masochist that I am, I am currently reading a very disturbing book (The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold) , and watching very sad things (my DVR'd Stand Up to Cancer), where tears freely flow.

I know full well what happens in these coming two weeks. I should be stocking up on David Sedaris, Archie Double Digests, and Austin Powers movies.

But I resist.

Why?

Maybe I think that if I get into a really dark corner, any wee speck of light at all will be blindingly beautiful.

Maybe I think if I weep (under the pretense of a sad movie), all of my anxiety will flow away.

Maybe I'm Swedish.

I heard one of my favorite Dixie Chick songs while driving around this morning - "Not Ready to Make Nice" - where they quote some of their hate mail as telling them to "shut up and sing".

Maybe I should just shut up and be funny.

And I'll try - tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I love ya - you know when.