So, the Good Countess of YikYak and I are stting around the breakfast table one morning, having what the Baron blithely refers to as 'a Grey Gardens moment'; we're both in our pj's - she's sipping iced tea and reading her book, I'm savoring my coffee-and-crossword ritual. We are inches away from each other and light years apart.
She, "Blah blah blah Goldy blah blah blah-dee blah."
Me, glancing up from my puzzle, "Who's Goldy again?"
She (and it is from this point forward that you must channel your inner Marge from 'Fargo' - I will transliterate to the best of my abilities...): "Goldy is my caaahr."
"Doesn't your caaahr haf a neem?"
Me: "Uh, no. I'm the scientific one, remember? To me, a car is a mechanical device that gets me from Point A to Point B. No more, no less."
Countess of YY: "Oh, Baronesssss, no. Mine is Goldy. Maaahhrk's is The Exploder. The Suburu is called Wanda. You haff ta neem your caaahr."
Baronesssss: "That's where you would be wrong, hon. I so do NOT have to 'neem my caaahr'. "
She: "But ahr caaahrs do so much for us. I alwiss taaahlk to Goldy. I thaaahnk her for all the haaahrd work thet she does for me, evry deeey."
"Ef I had yur caaahr, I'd call her Olive, because she's greeeen."
Me: "Why am I not at all surprised by this? The only thing that I do in my car is sing. "
She: "Well, then. That's it."
Me: "That's what, Countess? For god's sake, stop talking in riddles."
[and for love of all things holy, please end this conversation so I don't have to transliterate anymore; it's making both my fingers and my head ache...]
She: "Yur caaahr's name. It should be Carrie. Carrie Okie."
Well, then, that's it.
My caahr now hess a neem.
Thanks, Big Edie.
She, "Blah blah blah Goldy blah blah blah-dee blah."
Me, glancing up from my puzzle, "Who's Goldy again?"
She (and it is from this point forward that you must channel your inner Marge from 'Fargo' - I will transliterate to the best of my abilities...): "Goldy is my caaahr."
"Doesn't your caaahr haf a neem?"
Me: "Uh, no. I'm the scientific one, remember? To me, a car is a mechanical device that gets me from Point A to Point B. No more, no less."
Countess of YY: "Oh, Baronesssss, no. Mine is Goldy. Maaahhrk's is The Exploder. The Suburu is called Wanda. You haff ta neem your caaahr."
Baronesssss: "That's where you would be wrong, hon. I so do NOT have to 'neem my caaahr'. "
She: "But ahr caaahrs do so much for us. I alwiss taaahlk to Goldy. I thaaahnk her for all the haaahrd work thet she does for me, evry deeey."
"Ef I had yur caaahr, I'd call her Olive, because she's greeeen."
Me: "Why am I not at all surprised by this? The only thing that I do in my car is sing. "
She: "Well, then. That's it."
Me: "That's what, Countess? For god's sake, stop talking in riddles."
[and for love of all things holy, please end this conversation so I don't have to transliterate anymore; it's making both my fingers and my head ache...]
She: "Yur caaahr's name. It should be Carrie. Carrie Okie."
Well, then, that's it.
My caahr now hess a neem.
Thanks, Big Edie.
