Scientifically Proven

Part I of a new 'Baroness Sporadic Series' - "Torn From the Headlines Tuesday"...

"Marijuana can cause psychosis in healthy users: Study"

Scientists at the Institute Of Psychiatry at King's College in London made this earth-shattering discovery a result of testing on 22 healthy men in their late 20s.

Namely, the 22 scientists at the IOP at King's College.

Methodology involved giving placebo injections to some subjects while administering a dose of THC to others. It was observed that there existed a link between the active chemical in marijuana and hallucinations which left the sufferers 'unable to know what is real and what is imagined'.

After a post-trial celebration feast of Big Gulps, taquitos, several dozen donuts, nacho chips , 30 Megabags of strawberry Twizzlers and five throw pillows perceived to be giant blue marshmallows, team leader Dr. Paul Morrison concluded "...findings confirm that THC can induce a transient acute psychological reaction in psychiatrically well individuals."

Dr. Morrison's statement incurred the wrath of another team member, Dr. Robert "Bonghead"
Percival-William.

"Pauly, you bloody douchebag. Shut the f*ck up already with all this 'crazy' talk - you are so harshing my buzz - I was just about to make my patented moves on Dr. Sexy over there - that supermodel scientist has been quietly ogling me from her little corner for years!"

To which Dr. Morrison leaned forward into this reporter's microphone and with a raised eyebrow solemnly intoned, "Proof positive."

"The 'Dr. Sexy' Percival-William is referring to is our laboratory's human skeleton."

Oo-ooo, That Smell

Of late, I have been on a personal little vision quest of discovery and enlightenment.

I would be remiss if I didn't drag you along with me for some ed-joo-mah-kay-shun as well. Because the struggle is much funner with a group, don't cha think??

As part of the rickety, broken-down ritual that sometimes attempts to be this blog's Wanderlust Wednesday, I will present you with some highly significant paleontological discoveries we made while visiting the gurgling, fetid, sulfur hell hole that Los Angelinos fondly refer to as either " East Beverly Hills", or the more common "La Brea Tar Pits".

(because if they were to allude to the fact that the stank of this place rivals 130 roofs and 5 highways being tarred simultaneously, they would lose a serious chunk of tourism coinage)

Here, only a short hop-skip-jump away from Tiffany and Rodeo Drive, is a little slice of nerd nirvana.

OK, not just nerds - they pander to a wide demographic.

There's the obligatory Wooly Mammoth crap for the kids:

seriously wooly - I'm thinking that wax for the Brazilian had not yet been discovered

There's the bird skeletons for the ornithologists/anorexics in the crowd:

"Seriously, Bernice. I had to evolve those feathers - they were making my butt look HUGE!"

There's the Roman-Greco wrasslin' lions out front, for the eroticists:

"Streisand!" "No, Minelli!" "Streisand" "No, Minelli!!"

And the kinda creepy accompanying statues just on the other side of the pathway, to validate those who just like to watch:

"Here they go again, Roger. Why don't they just **ck and be done with it, already?"

Not only were we able to witness first-hand all the fascinating work being undertaken amongst the captive scientists:

We were able to make a few of our own:

click on photo for full picture

Note here - not only are we able to see the the sinking/emerging Mastodon from the Pleistocene Era, but encircled in red is derma of the Sus Scrofa Domestica/Raiderista from the Lower Jurassic period.

Exciting stuff, that.

And I'm sorry - if that new little factoid didn't just enrich your life by about 1000 percent, I don't really know what else I can do.

Maybe you are not ready for the science that I am laying down.