The End of Innocence

"The Beer Barrel Polka".

"The Bird Dance".

"From the Indies to the Andes in His Undies".

Even my own theme song, "The Baroness" (lyrics here), which somehow manages to incorporate the oh-so-merry (yet-underutilized) word "asparagus".

All happy songs. Slap-happy, put a smile on your face songs.

They really do make the world go 'round.

So, imagine my dismay when I came across a half-page article in the paper regarding startling new evidence about one of my beloveds, "The Hokey Pokey".

Apparently I live quite comfortably under a rock in my corner of the universe, because there is big trouble brewin' in Britain.

Politicians, clergy, soccer fans - they're all getting into the fray.

None of this was mentioned in my latest issue of "Commonwealth Quarterly".

According to the son of the song's writer, a one Mr. Jimmy Kennedy, the inspiration for the song, originally titled "The Hokey Cokey", is based on a traditional Canadian folk tune.

Which in and of itself should be a source of pride for the Baroness and her fellow countrymen. Because we are trés, trés folky and very tuneful.

However.

Kennedy Jr. goes on to elaborate that the folk tune was sung by miners in the early 20th century as a drug anthem celebrating the therapeutic powers of cocaine.

So.

That's what it's all about.

Huh.