A Dear John Letter

Dear John Cusack:

I'm not writing to tell you I love you. Don't get me wrong, I think you're a fine, fine actor. Your work in The Grifters - so clever. High Fidelity - hilarious. Being John Malkovich - genius . But I can't say I love you, because I don't know you. We have never swapped spit nor holiday cards. I can't say I love you, as I have never acted with you in a movie, nor have I ever been a childhood buddy . I can't say I love you, as I have never been your prom date, nor a long-time family friend. But now that you're here, and I'm sure so enrapt by what might come next, I will take the opportunity to tell you the one thing I love about you. (See what I just did there?)

I love your brain. In a community of higher-profile actors, model/actors, socialites/that-should-never-be-actors, you pepper your interviews with words like "transcedence" and "polemics". Even I, the ever-erudite Baroness, had no clue what "polemics" was. Had to get Jeeves to fetch the Webster's from the library. (FYI - polemic: Of or pertaining to controversy; disputatious.) (Mental note - look up "disputatious"). How many women go ga-ga over an eloquent man with a big..... vocabulary. I know that I sure do - you had me at polemics...

Long and short of it, I love that because of your striking intelligence, you entice me to read an interview with you. I know I won't be disappointed. You with your dark shiny hair and your meaningful eyes, and what I can only imagine is your sexy, sexy voice. And then BAM! You drop the P-bomb. I love that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Keep it up. Keep standing above the rest of the pack with your beliefs, your convictions, and your way with words that makes us actually think. And sigh. And go to the dictionary every so often. Because, believe it or not, even though I am a fan (Fan: informal of fanatic: a person who is moved by a frenzy of enthusiasm or zeal; a religious zealot), I still have a brain which I quite like using from time to time.

On that, I'm not disputatious.