Saturday, February 16, 2008

How About That?

Hello, my darlings! It's time for yet another fascinating weekend installment of "How About That?". In light of the fact that the Baron and Baroness have just returned from Crazy D.I.Y. Scandinavian Emporium , and will be building office furniture until the beginning of the next millenium, I thought I would take advantage of the computer whilst I still could, and fire off a extended version of the week's upcoming holidays. Really, perusing the list, I just could not omit a single day. For there is much work here to be done, people. Celebrations to celebrate. Anniversarys to , er, anniversar. Let's get to it, shall we? Busy, busy, busy. . .

Saturday, February 16th
"Do a Grouch a Favour Day". In the Baroness' neck of the woods, there are only 3 and one half hours left to fulfill this obligation; I'm hoping that on your side of the globe the day is done, and you missed this day entirely. Because, hmm. Why in the world does some asshat crankpot need a favor? OK, let me rephrase that. Why in the world would anyone do a favour for a cranky asshat? Unless you're Mrs. Andy Rooney, and then there's some sort of archaic wedding vow loophole. Poor her.

Sunday, February 17th
Ooh, this day's like the three scoops of ice cream in a banana split - each a slightly different flavour, but sweet, sweet, sweet! (Dude, dude, dude). Numero Uno: "My Way Day". Either this is a tribute to Ol' Blue Eyes himself, or it's just a day where we all go around acting like contrary 4 year olds. Nowhere on my list is mention made of "Highway Day", so the ultimatum thing is not an option. Choose one of the others - they both work for me. Although, Sinatra. Singing. I'm feeling an almost-uncontrollable urge *...

(* "Shameless Self-Promotion Day" - did I mention that one? Hah! I made it up.)

Numero Deux: "World Human Spirit Day". Would you feast your eyes upon this? It's a biggie. Here is the day to validate your metaphysical parking ticket, give yourself a big hug, kiss your cheek in the mirror and celebrate the craziness/loveliness/foolishness/fill-in-the-blank-ness that is you. And those around you. And when I say "around", I really mean "around". Oh, ho, ho - the Baroness has had wa-a-a-y too much sugar and coffee today.

Numero Trey: "Random Acts of Kindness Day". What a peach of a day. Trust me on this one, dear readers, if you try something - no matter how small you think it is - it will make a huge difference. Were you aware that there is actually a Random Acts of Kindness Foundation? For those that might be just a titch challenged in the kindness department, this website is chock-a-block full of inspiration. Check it out. Not that I'm saying you are in any way lacking in kindness. You're all marvelous, and I'm lucky to have you. But here. Just in case. No one has to know.

Monday, February 18th
"Thumb Appreciation Day". Everyone together, ay-y-y-y-y. Yes, kind folk, it is this appendage that guarantees our position on the evolutionary scale. What to do? Turn a doorknob, hitchhike, use chopsticks, change the channel. Marvel at the opportunities we have. Just don't make fun of the dog - he's still a little sensitive about the whole lack of opposable you-know-whats.

Speaking of dogs, Monday is also "Pluto Discovery Day". My list wasn't really explicit as to whether or not this was the planet-wanna-be or the cartoon dog. If it's the former, let's get a petition going to restore it to its former glory, and send it off to WNOPO (World Nerd Organization for Planetary Organization) - I'm not ready to throw out my solar sytem mobile just yet. If it's the latter, I don't know exactly how Mickey lost him to begin with, but I hardly think that finding him canoodling in the closet with Minnie is worth creating a whole day for. Yeesh. Bloody Disney people.

Tuesday, February 19th
It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood on Tuesday - it's the anniversary of the debut of "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood". Fred started visiting our living rooms in 1968, and snuck his way into our hearts two minutes after the beginning of the debut in 1968. In honor of him, put on your creepy King Friday hand puppet and have a lovely conversation with yourself about absolute nothing. FYI, King Friday, Queen Sara, and Prince Tuesday were actually part of the vonBloggenschtern principality, but we exiled Friday in The Great Uprising of '67 (an unfortunate consequence of his communist leanings.) Today, put on a cardigan and some sneakers, and make yourself a yummy hot chocolate.

Wednesday, February 20th
"Love Your Pet Day". Extra treats, a nice massage with some bacon-scented essential oils, and a hug every hour on the hour (before the massage). That's what'll happen at the vonB household. What we'll do for the dog, I haven't decided yet. For the dyslexics and Yodas in the crowd, "Pet your Love Day" it is. Knock yourself out.

"Clean Out Your Bookcases Day". Really. In an earthquake, they're sure to pin someone underneath. If I have to do it, then you do too. Suck it up, buttercup. It can't always be fun and games.

Thursday, February 21st
I'm giving you advanced warning. Thursday is "Card Reading Day". Again, the list didn't specify tarot or greeting - the interpretation is up to you.

It's also "Single Tasking Day", to give you type "A" overachievers a bit of a break. One. Thing. At. A. Time. Slowly. Now breathe.

And it's "International Mother Language Day". Hmm. Does this refer to speaking in your mother tongue, or the language that Charlie Brown and his friend hear when any adult is talking to them? "Whuh, whuh, whuh, take out the garbage, whuh, whuh, whuh, pick up the wet towels, whuh, whuh, whuh, stop pulling on your brother's eyeball - it's loose already."

Friday, February 22nd
How stupendous - "World Thinking Day". If we could all do this before we speak, we might just still have a companion for the movies on the weekend. Or if we do it before we act, we might just live to see another weekend. Food for, well, ya know.

Last, but in no way least, is the birthday of our favorite little cave baby, Pebbles Flintstone. I'd normally offer you some cake, but it's a little dry this year.

Have an amazing week, everyone!

The Baroness


Fairly Odd Mother said...

For Thumb Appreciation Day (is that the best holiday ever, or what?), I have an urge to make foods out of little weiner sausages.

Love this list. It will keep me busy all week. Except on Thursday when I'll be single tasking.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

OH TODAY IS MY WAY DAY!!!! YIPEEE!!! I can't wait to get started. I think I will lay on the couch, have a beer (I'm in major pain due to a pinched nerve in my neck and I'm out of relaxers so the beer should work, then I will have Big Daddy rub my feet.

I'm off to get started drinking and barking orders!

Lisa said...

Two glorious, beautifully painted thumbs up to the Baronness for shunning the commercial holidays in favor of some truly worth celebrating! I mean, where would we be without our thumbs?? Gloves would fit funnny .... monkey bars would be obsolete ... and how would anyone ever hit the buzzer in Jeopardy? I can't imagine a body or world without thumbs.

Happy Thumb Day, Baronness!!! ... Babs Peapod

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Fairly: LOVE, love, love the sausage idea! Now we can have our thumbs and eat them too.

Countess Scarlett: So sorry to hear about your neck - hope you're on the mend courtesy of malts, hops, and some Big Daddy TLC.

Countess Babs: Two gloriously polished thumbs back in your direction! (what shade did you use? I'm using "Love That Red" by Revlon - so retro...)You raised an important point regarding Jeopardy - I think that if anyone should be a spokesperson for Thumbs Day, it should be TREBEK!!

The Guv'ner said...

Damn, I missed the day for appreciating my thumb. Sorry thumb! But I will remember to appreciate my pets, if I haven't killed them after last night's yowling, fighting and chasing each other around the apartment while springing from a great height onto my sleeping head, business.

I am due to go purchase a new couch from that Scandanavian free for all soon. Yay for tax rebates. :)

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Guv: Here's hoping that as of today, you still have creatures left in your principality to love. As for the couch situation - tax REBATES? I thought you only got rebates when you bought a car or a house - just exactly how large is this chesterfield?

Lisa said...

Pssst ....said two thumbs are sporting OPI's Red, Red Rhine.

Come back Baronness .... come back!!!!! v... Barbra Peapod

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