Sunday, April 27, 2008

How About That?

Bonjour, bonjour! The Baroness welcomes you to another fascinating weekend installment of the 'How About That?'.
A note of apology here. As I was "researching" my holidays for last weekend, it became clear that my resource was quite off with their dates. While they got the organization of the months correct (there are still 12, right?), they may be slightly off with the calendar year.

Surprisingly enough, it is somewhat difficult to find accurate information on the internet. Who knew? I must admit I didn't look too far - that would fall into the realm of investigative journalism, and B von B don't pay those union dues. Too much work; I wouldn't want to take food out of the mouths of say, Maury Povich or Stone Phillips.

So I ask a small favor of you all. Please consider these to be arbitrary dates - don't get too bogged down with details like facts. Expand your definition of truth a little. Get loosey-goosey with days of the week. Do that for me, and this will all work out quite nicely for all involved. Agreed? Splendid. Moving on:

Sunday, April 27
"Rural Life Sunday". This was clumped together with "Soil Stewardship Day". So it apparently involves appreciating the good folk who work the earth. Like these two:

Ambassadors for
Happiness through Agriculture

All you city-fied peeps, don your overalls, get your Green Acres on and at least go out for a drive in the fresh (manure-scented) air of the country. Ahhhhh. Breathe it in. And then, for god's sake, roll up the windows and let's get the hell out of here. There's a sale on at Nordstrom's.

Monday, April 28th
Although a rung or two lower on the aesthetic ladder than say, oh I don't know - pugs, this is "Bulldogs are Beautiful Day". I mean, how could one not glimpse the artisanry that went into this and not be appreciative?
Can I get an "Awwww?"

Or this?
Obviously pandering to the camera.
Slut.

Tuesday, April 29th
In order to keep balance and harmony in the feline and canine worlds, I will point out that today is:
"National Hairball Awareness Day"

I believe that most cat owners are well aware of when a hairball is about to make an appearance, but perhaps this day was established to bring awareness to new methods for cleaning/burning the carpet, or of late-breaking disposal techniques. Or how to quell the sympathetic gag reflex when hearing this happening at the end of the comforter at 3 am.

Wednesday, April 30th
For the sake of your appearance, and for the potentially long time frame required to remedy any "accidents", please mark in your Daytimer that today is "Hairstylist Appreciation Day". And by "appreciation", I think that they mean "exceedingly generous monetary acknowledgement". Should you choose to disregard the warnings, I have 3 words for you.

Flock. Of. Seagulls.

Have a rewarding week, everyone!!

Affectionately,
The Baroness


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15 comments:

Stacy said...

i love the hairball day!

Bubs said...

Does clearing dust bunnies from under the furniture count as working with the soil?

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Stacy: Love the kitty playa, hate the game...

Count Bubs: I suppose if one was a dust-bowl farmer then hey, why not? Again, think loosey-goosey. You may be all about the rules, man. I'm so not. (not that I'm doing anything illegal - right now). ;)

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count Bubs: Aaand, if Levon Helm can be a Dirt Farmer, then why can't you be a dust farmer?

Asthmagirl said...

I'm all about giving the hairdressers some love. I want their best work!

Mental P Mama said...

National Hairball Awareness Day. Now that is something I can get my head around....

Not Afraid to Use It said...

National Hairball Awareness Day is EVERY day around here. :)

Lisa said...

I got about as rural as a person can get this past Sunday (you can read about it on my post today).

Now it's time to get back to Neimans before I end up wearing a jump suit with patches on it!! ... Barbra Peapod

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess AG: Prudent decision. Best not get on the bad side of creative types.

Countess MPM: I would hope that you do not get your head around any sort of hairball, nor that they get around you.

Countess NATUI: EVERY day? Dudette, may I just say, Ewww...

Countess Babs: I've visited your travelogue - yes, I do believe that qualifies as rural - WAY rural. I bet you even got the farmer tan to go with it!

Writeprocrastinator said...

You were a bureaucrat in a past life, weren't you ; )

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count WP: I'm not sure whether or not I should feel insulted. What makes you ask this?

Bureacracy, no. Admin, yes. The ugly truth comes out. I whored out to corporate to pay the mortgage. So sad. So soul-sucking.

Writeprocrastinator said...

No, sorry! I meant in terms of creating more holidays.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count WP: It's my plan for world domination through relaxation - between the Christian, Government, Judaic and my proposed holidays, the average citizen should end up working about a day and a half a week!

Shove a butt, McCain (and try not to break a hip in the process) - the Baroness is about to enter the race!

Writeprocrastinator said...

I'll endorse you Baroness and though it is late in the race, you would bring some civility where there is none.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count WP: I'm flattered! What can I say? I'm perpetually tardy, so coming late to the party should surprise no one. In fact, I'm sure they've been waiting. As for civility, I'm unsure as to whether or not this particular reform is going to stir either red or blue states. I would like to propose a third color, though - something in the robin's egg blue palette...

 
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