A note of apology here. As I was "researching" my holidays for last weekend, it became clear that my resource was quite off with their dates. While they got the organization of the months correct (there are still 12, right?), they may be slightly off with the calendar year.
Surprisingly enough, it is somewhat difficult to find accurate information on the internet. Who knew? I must admit I didn't look too far - that would fall into the realm of investigative journalism, and B von B don't pay those union dues. Too much work; I wouldn't want to take food out of the mouths of say, Maury Povich or Stone Phillips.
So I ask a small favor of you all. Please consider these to be arbitrary dates - don't get too bogged down with details like facts. Expand your definition of truth a little. Get loosey-goosey with days of the week. Do that for me, and this will all work out quite nicely for all involved. Agreed? Splendid. Moving on:
Sunday, April 27
"Rural Life Sunday". This was clumped together with "Soil Stewardship Day". So it apparently involves appreciating the good folk who work the earth. Like these two:
Ambassadors for
Happiness through Agriculture
All you city-fied peeps, don your overalls, get your Green Acres on and at least go out for a drive in the fresh (manure-scented) air of the country. Ahhhhh. Breathe it in. And then, for god's sake, roll up the windows and let's get the hell out of here. There's a sale on at Nordstrom's.
Monday, April 28th
Although a rung or two lower on the aesthetic ladder than say, oh I don't know - pugs, this is "Bulldogs are Beautiful Day". I mean, how could one not glimpse the artisanry that went into this and not be appreciative?
Can I get an "Awwww?"
Or this?
Obviously pandering to the camera.
Slut.
Tuesday, April 29thSurprisingly enough, it is somewhat difficult to find accurate information on the internet. Who knew? I must admit I didn't look too far - that would fall into the realm of investigative journalism, and B von B don't pay those union dues. Too much work; I wouldn't want to take food out of the mouths of say, Maury Povich or Stone Phillips.
So I ask a small favor of you all. Please consider these to be arbitrary dates - don't get too bogged down with details like facts. Expand your definition of truth a little. Get loosey-goosey with days of the week. Do that for me, and this will all work out quite nicely for all involved. Agreed? Splendid. Moving on:
Sunday, April 27
"Rural Life Sunday". This was clumped together with "Soil Stewardship Day". So it apparently involves appreciating the good folk who work the earth. Like these two:
Ambassadors forHappiness through Agriculture
Monday, April 28th
Although a rung or two lower on the aesthetic ladder than say, oh I don't know - pugs, this is "Bulldogs are Beautiful Day". I mean, how could one not glimpse the artisanry that went into this and not be appreciative?
Can I get an "Awwww?"Or this?
Obviously pandering to the camera. Slut.
In order to keep balance and harmony in the feline and canine worlds, I will point out that today is:
"National Hairball Awareness Day"I believe that most cat owners are well aware of when a hairball is about to make an appearance, but perhaps this day was established to bring awareness to new methods for cleaning/burning the carpet, or of late-breaking disposal techniques. Or how to quell the sympathetic gag reflex when hearing this happening at the end of the comforter at 3 am.
Wednesday, April 30th
For the sake of your appearance, and for the potentially long time frame required to remedy any "accidents", please mark in your Daytimer that today is "Hairstylist Appreciation Day". And by "appreciation", I think that they mean "exceedingly generous monetary acknowledgement". Should you choose to disregard the warnings, I have 3 words for you.
Flock. Of. Seagulls.
Have a rewarding week, everyone!!
Affectionately,
The Baroness
.
