Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Dark Knight - REVEALED!!!

Ah, the Summer Blockbuster.

'Tis a ritual in the von Bloggenschtern family to see these on the first day. Why? you may ask.

And I will look you straight in the eye and tell you that we are collectively certifiable.

Mercifully, for the anally retentive vonB's, the box office sells tickets for these cinematic money makers a day early [for the organizationally-challenged, what a darned shame that you can't get it together. Suckahs. You'll learn someday].

So, this is how it goes:

STEP 1. Arise Thursday morning and assure oneself that anal area is indeed retentive. Go to box office 10 minutes before it opens, on the off chance that you'll be first in line.

STEP 2: Stand in line, vouchers in hand, ready to pre-buy tickets when box office opens at 11:45 am

STEP 3: Wait until 12:00 pm while poor cashier tries to find someone with the g.d. keys to open up the cabinet where the extra POS paper is kept

STEP 4: Go up to cashier with 5 movie vouchers to buy IMAX tickets for DARK KNIGHT

STEP 5: Feel a little bit smug that you can still get tickets

STEP 6: Feel a whole lot stupid(and somewhat less retentive) when said cashier tells you that movie vouchers do not include movies in IMAX (as clearly specified on the back of the voucher)

STEP 7: Send messenger for wallet, go to back of line, re-enter process at Step 2

STEP 8: Secure tickets. Hide them in "safety place" to prevent being mugged by roving bands of graphic-novel thugs loitering outside the premises.

STEP 9: On Friday afternoon, send worker bees ahead to stand in line at 1:30 pm for the 3:30 pm show.

STEP 10: Wait in line for approximately one hour (feel smug again because reading material was thought of...)

STEP 11: File like lemmings into theatre and wait for THE most anticipated film of the summer.

Was it worth STEPS 1 through 11? You betcha.

Here's what I learned:

***** SPOILER ALERT *****


Ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Batman is really- wait for it................

Bruce.

Frickin'

Wayne.

I so did not see that coming.

A-A-A-A-N-D.....








That Meryl Streep really CAN play anyone, and does an bang-up job of portraying the always- complex Alfred.

Plus all the ABBA songs? Really lightened things up.

Oh.

Wait.

7 comments:

Snowflake.Jake said...

If only you were there half an hour earlier to hear the booming Mamma Mia and Dancing Queen!

Plus...*SPOILER*



The chorus line at the end of the film? Who saw THAT coming?

Duke2

RiverPoet said...

We are SO chomping at the bit at my house to see this movie!!! My son had surgery on his hand yesterday, but we still might try to squeeze in a showing this weekend (he insists that we try!)

Seeing it in IMAX? Priceless...Peace - D

Lisa said...

I don't care so much about seeing the Dark Knight (will wait for it to be on TNT), but I DO want to see Mamma Mia. I saw it in the theatre and it was fantastic ... I only hope the movie can live up, Bu then again, what's not to love about anything with ABBA songs?! .... babspeapod

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Duke #2: Yup. That chorus line totally kicked it. Old school.

Countess D: The Good Doctor Baroness prescribes IMAX for any hand pain; it is sure to distract for at least 2.5 hours.

Countess Babs: I did not see the play, but might consider the movie. Purely for the Brosnan/Firth/Skarsgard trifecta. factor. And, you know, I taught Ms. Streep every single acting chop she has. What? You weren't aware of this? Well, consider yourself informed.

Yeah, I'm that good. ;)

Mental P Mama said...

LOL--I may go this afternoon. cannot wait! And I wanted to see Mamma Mia until the reviews came out...may still go. Just for that cast. And, Bruce Wayne??? Who knew???;)

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess MPM: I'll tell you who knew - the best Batman of all time, in my estimation - CLOONEY!

Just kiddin'.

Christian Bale is definitely THE one.

asthmagirl said...

Thank goodness for great reviews like this! I've been wondering!

 
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