'Tis a ritual in the von Bloggenschtern family to see these on the first day. Why? you may ask.
And I will look you straight in the eye and tell you that we are collectively certifiable.
Mercifully, for the anally retentive vonB's, the box office sells tickets for these cinematic money makers a day early [for the organizationally-challenged, what a darned shame that you can't get it together. Suckahs. You'll learn someday].
So, this is how it goes:
STEP 1. Arise Thursday morning and assure oneself that anal area is indeed retentive. Go to box office 10 minutes before it opens, on the off chance that you'll be first in line.
STEP 2: Stand in line, vouchers in hand, ready to pre-buy tickets when box office opens at 11:45 am
STEP 3: Wait until 12:00 pm while poor cashier tries to find someone with the g.d. keys to open up the cabinet where the extra POS paper is kept
STEP 4: Go up to cashier with 5 movie vouchers to buy IMAX tickets for DARK KNIGHT
STEP 5: Feel a little bit smug that you can still get tickets
STEP 6: Feel a whole lot stupid(and somewhat less retentive) when said cashier tells you that movie vouchers do not include movies in IMAX (as clearly specified on the back of the voucher)
STEP 7: Send messenger for wallet, go to back of line, re-enter process at Step 2
STEP 8: Secure tickets. Hide them in "safety place" to prevent being mugged by roving bands of graphic-novel thugs loitering outside the premises.
STEP 9: On Friday afternoon, send worker bees ahead to stand in line at 1:30 pm for the 3:30 pm show.
STEP 10: Wait in line for approximately one hour (feel smug again because reading material was thought of...)
STEP 11: File like lemmings into theatre and wait for THE most anticipated film of the summer.
Was it worth STEPS 1 through 11? You betcha. And I will look you straight in the eye and tell you that we are collectively certifiable.
Mercifully, for the anally retentive vonB's, the box office sells tickets for these cinematic money makers a day early [for the organizationally-challenged, what a darned shame that you can't get it together. Suckahs. You'll learn someday].
So, this is how it goes:
STEP 1. Arise Thursday morning and assure oneself that anal area is indeed retentive. Go to box office 10 minutes before it opens, on the off chance that you'll be first in line.
STEP 2: Stand in line, vouchers in hand, ready to pre-buy tickets when box office opens at 11:45 am
STEP 3: Wait until 12:00 pm while poor cashier tries to find someone with the g.d. keys to open up the cabinet where the extra POS paper is kept
STEP 4: Go up to cashier with 5 movie vouchers to buy IMAX tickets for DARK KNIGHT
STEP 5: Feel a little bit smug that you can still get tickets
STEP 6: Feel a whole lot stupid(and somewhat less retentive) when said cashier tells you that movie vouchers do not include movies in IMAX (as clearly specified on the back of the voucher)
STEP 7: Send messenger for wallet, go to back of line, re-enter process at Step 2
STEP 8: Secure tickets. Hide them in "safety place" to prevent being mugged by roving bands of graphic-novel thugs loitering outside the premises.
STEP 9: On Friday afternoon, send worker bees ahead to stand in line at 1:30 pm for the 3:30 pm show.
STEP 10: Wait in line for approximately one hour (feel smug again because reading material was thought of...)
STEP 11: File like lemmings into theatre and wait for THE most anticipated film of the summer.
Here's what I learned:
***** SPOILER ALERT *****
Ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Batman is really- wait for it................
Bruce.
Frickin'
Wayne.
I so did not see that coming.
A-A-A-A-N-D.....
That Meryl Streep really CAN play anyone, and does an bang-up job of portraying the always- complex Alfred.
Plus all the ABBA songs? Really lightened things up.
Oh.
Wait.
