Sunday, April 19, 2009

My People will be in Touch with Your People

"It would appear, " she smoothly proclaimed , rubbing her hands together greedily, "that very, very soon I will be a very, very rich woman."

You know.

The class action suit I'm planning on launching, based on the article I just read in the latest Entertainment Weekly.

The very article that says that The Baroness will be appearing in the August 7th movie debut of G.I. Joe.

What the deuce?

Please forgive me, but I have no recollection of:
a) being struck by a blunt instrument near the area of my cranium that makes good judgment calls, thereby
b) subsequently taking leave of my senses for 4 months straight and filming this movie.

Nor do I recall being asked for permission to use my name or my likeness:

(photo source: firstshowing.net)

Believe me, if I had to suit up in that cowhide every damn day? I would remember.
(and BTW? I would never in a million years allow myself to be made brunette - too Autumn; I'm more of a Spring)

(Just a little FYI for my fans)

(You're welcome).

The ultimate slap in the face? The choice of casting of this for this character, of which I was never consulted.

Who would I have chosen? Someone ferocious.

Someone brilliant.

Someone by turns funny and alluring.

Someone, well - me.

Someone distinctly not Sienna Miller.

Ack.

(Although, she does kind of rock that little leather ensemble of mine...)

I digress.

(constantly)

While we patiently wait for our windfall, my husband came up with a great cross-promotion marketing strategy - the shameless tapping of the the fanboy market.

Hence, from now on, I will be including labels for my posts that will direct all of the fans desperately seeking the Baroness over this way.

This should make the time pass quickly, non?

7 comments:

sara-grey said...

amazing. a class action lawsuit. definitely in order.

Mental P Mama said...

Is that really that Sienna Miller chick? gah.

baronessvonb said...

Countess SPN: Soon you will have any black velvet painting your heart desires, my pretty!

Countess Mama: I guess that nipple slips, crotch shots and husband-stealing eventually do pay off! Note to self: Rethink career trajectory...

Cormac Brown said...

Yikes, I forgot about that animated vanilla-ness, but that's because I've forgotten about that lame cartoon as well. You'd make a more formidible and resourceful opponent than Siena or your cartoon counterpart.

The Joes (of G.I. Joe) were notoriously stupid, and they rarely figured anything out, until someone in COBRA (don't remember what that acronym was for) got cocky or bumbled things up. You'd have them moving your furniture, doing your shopping and at your mercy in mere minutes.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Count Cormac: Hell to the yeah!
There is definitely place in my world for a himbo or two. The fact they are trained to kill with only their pinky finger?

Icing on the cake.

Cormac Brown said...

Then I pity those who would gossip against you or serve you inferior food.

baronessvonb said...

Count Cormac: As well you should, my friend.

As well you should.

 
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