Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Stop Me If You've Heard This One. . .

A Jew walks into a Southern Methodist Tabernacle.

It's a pretty hot day, and the Humidex is at around 174 percent, give or take 1000.

At the door, the usher offers her a cardboard paddle, and asks, "Fan?"

Distracted by looking around for somewhere to sit, the Jew says, "I don't know - I've only ever heard the first act."

Bah Boom Boom.

(They love me in the Borscht Belt)(Me and Henny. Just like this.)

So, if one were to venture to Mathews County, Virginia (which I did), and if one were to have the most amazing Tour Guides in the world (which I did), and if one were to allow oneself to be driven hither and yon throughout this lush, verdant landscape (which I did), one might find themselves at this crossroads:

You hafta know right away that there is some religion being got 'round here.

I'm not sure if this particular house of worship has become a heritage site, or if it is still functional. I tend to think that it might be the former, as I'm sure this scene I stumbled upon is an act of senseless vandalism rather than fervent prayer:

Irregardless of its status, on the day of our visit, it still loomed large and silent, yet full of spirit.

And you know me, with my vivid imagination (well, maybe you don't. But my internal life? Endlessly fascinating)(To me, anyways). I could easily envision the pews jam-packed, and a lot of praise swirling in and around and amongst, through the open structure and out into the ether.

Without sounding too mawkish, it was the perfect symbol for the Virginia Blogfest - a confluence of spirit, where the sacred was taken to heart.

"Fan?"

Hell, yeah.

17 comments:

Daryl said...

You made me LAUGH ... you and Henny .. dont get no respect .. oh wait that was Rodney .. Henny wanted you to take his wife, please... always a very polite fella that Henny; in my family he'd have been HESHY

Word verification: punletsa

baronessvonb said...

Countess of NY: Well, that word verification sounds slightly naughty.

I would like to think that I'm as polite as Heshy w/the fashion sense of Rodney...

Living on the Spit said...

Halarious post...and you nailed the humidity correctly.

I don't do humidity...wait, I live in it.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

You are such a funny writer! I love your sense of humor.

Grandma J said...

All we needed was a bit of Neal Diamond's "Brother Loves Travel'n Salvation Show" playing in the background.

That place was mystical, and I think we all got "saved"!

baronessvonb said...

Countess of the Land Mass: You may not do humidity, but it surely does you.

Countess NNG: Well, thank you! I surround myself with a fine group of muses.


Countess GJ: Day-um! Why didn't I think of Mr. Diamond (a fellow Jew, may I just quickly add?)?

Perhaps you and I should be posting together, as a team. Note to AsthmaGirl- I am now sharing my brain with someone else...

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Awesome pictures and write-up! That Tabernacle hasn't seen so much action in decades. They need to work on that parking situation, though.

I still think there's a movie to be made about this weekend. You are the only person who could play yourself - incredibly stylish and beautiful.

And who else but Uncle Tim could fill that role?

Maybe we just need to have a Repeat Fest and hire a reality TV person to document it all.

How does next weekend sound?

baronessvonb said...

Countess CBW: Surely D of NYawk's husband MUST know a documentarian - or maybe if Jeff Probst isn't doing anything next summer... (Ooh, I could just swim in those dimples!!)

As for your, er, casting choices, I think I could only play myself if Uncle Tim was played by Clooney. I can see this working - can't you??

Meg said...

Oh, I was truly moved at the Tabernacle. I just wanted to sing old Campmeeting hymns, or Shaker songs.

I, too, am a FAN.

Word verification = exhoople. Gazundteit!

baronessvonb said...

Countess Meg: The fact that you know any Campmeeting hymns and/or Shaker songs impresses the be-jesus out of me. Which is maybe counterproductive?

Strike that.

Word verification: plurfiat

Plurfiat (ploor-fee-att), adj.
"It was hard to tell if plurfiat noise was from the leather sofa or from the baked beans she ate at lunch"

Audrey at Barking Mad said...

WTH? My word verification word is bremstone. Seriously. I know it's spelled wrong, but sheesh! I mean, considering the topic at hand and all.

I wish I'd been more patient when we were at the Tabernacle. I think some time spent there is just what this here New Englander needs. Still though, it was almost surreal, considering our surroundings and such.

I love the way you captured the spirit of our trip to the Tabernacle.

TSannie said...

I like that - "a confluence of spirit, where the sacred was taken to heart".
Amazing how mych our gathering together has affected each one of us. And in such lovely ways.
Magical!

baronessvonb said...

Countess Audrey: Whoa - 'bremstone'. That is some serious Hippy VooDoo BS - I must go wake up the boy...

I agree that the silence around the Tabernacle site was kind of disarming - all we needed was some spooky fog!

Countess Annie: I remember someone saying right at the beginning that this was going to be 'life altering', and I just kind of blew it off as over-dramatic. Was I ever wrong.

big hair envy said...

Oddly enough, I kept waiting for Steve Martin to emerge donning his glittery suit and holding a snake. Tells you a little bit about MY experiences with tabernacles, doesn't it?? ;)

Word Verif: phtivirs
I believe that's something you catch from handling fiddler crabs.

baronessvonb said...

Countess BHE: Good to know that I'm not the only one who always has someone (or someone) sparkly as a point of reference!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Now that is some amazing sight-seeing. I don't know if I could have gone without fear of lightning striking.

baronessvonb said...

Countess NATUI: If I were to totally honest, I think my skin felt a little rashy. But that could have been the humidity...

 
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