Freak-ish Friday

I will keep this brief today - other than to give a big shout-out to Ashley - who is exercising her God-given (and government-given) right to free speech, and whom has felt the urge in the comments section of this post to remind me of my failings as a Christian.

Hmmm.

While some people may turn away in shock and dismay from comments like this, I instead embrace them with all the pagan love I can muster in my wizened little heart. Lord, help me.

And Ashley? Even though I may be too simple to understand such a completely random comment - a comment that appears to me to be so thoroughly unrelated to the matter at hand; even though I am perhaps slightly, simple-mindedly sceptical that you sharing your beliefs in this particular venue is the most effective way for you to spread your gospel, I'll give you all the attention you feel you so justly deserve.

Just come out from behind the Holy Bible in your profile picture, dear, pull up that soap box, and fire away. Let your message be heard, loud and proud. You obviously have a burning desire to say something.

May the power of Christ compel you.

And may you feel as enfolding when comes the day that someone hijacks your blog to air their religious beliefs.

As for me? I'm off to atone and beg forgiveness.

Right after I have my last romp with a donkey, whilst simultaneously (& greedily) drinking tequila straight from the bottle, eating 13 bacon cheeseburgers, and cursing like a gay sailor.

Have a righteous weekend, everyone!

Thoughtful Thursday

The other day, while sitting around with some white chicks talkin' trash, my line of thought came into question.

The discussion entailed one of my Countess' daughters saying that when she grew up, she didn't want a small dog - she wanted a really, really big dog.

"Why on earth would you wish for this?" I beseeched, "Don't you realize the waste management issues? Little dog, little poop. Big dog - you're going to be picking up something the size of a roast."

The Good Countess Linda turned to me, agape, with an incredulous look on her face.

"Oh."

"My."

"Gawd, Baroness."

"How the hell did you go from dog poop to roast beef??? Heysoos Marimba, woman - what kind of bizarre, tangential thinking goes on in that cranium of yours?"

Well, let me tell you something.

Actually, some things.

1. Linda should know better - I mean, we've been friends for 30-odd years. You'd think she'd have figured this charming quality about me by now.

2. I in no way consider her comment an admonishment. Quite the contrary, as a matter of fact.
I regard it as a sincere compliment - linear thinking is just not my bag, man.

3. How do I think? Well, think 'Family Circus' when Jeffy goes on one of his little vision quests, then superimpose this on a hummingbird in a field of honeysuckles, add a few double-shot Americanos, and throw in some childhood medication flashbacks, and you've pretty much got it.

Which sorta kinda explains how I arrived at today's TT.

Come September, as soon as the chilluns are out that door, I go into Organize mode. It is time, people - time to undo all the chaos that has been swirling around during the summer. Time to attack the junk drawers, the closets, the black-hole-piles of potentially pertinent mail.

And as I did this, I thought to myself, "Dear God, how does this happen?". And then, in one of my patented "Where Did That Come From" moments, I thought of a long-forgotten song:

...What if God was one of us?
Just a slob, like one of us?
Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home...
Joan Osborne, "One of Us"

Yeah, I can't explain it.

But I sure love this song.