And it all has to do with...
...dressing up the dog.
With the significance of the day today, and the interweb rife with possibilities, the battle has reached a fever pitch.
Never having had the live little dolly to dress up (the boys are all so-o-o-o beyond listening and completely, rudely, ignore the GQ and Men's Vogue magazines I leave strewn about...), I turned my attention to the pug.
My mad fashion stylist skillz was not appreciated. By neither man nor beast.
You see, with pugs, their tail is their happy barometer. If it's curly and up:
Happy chappy.
If it's at half mast:
A little uncertain. A little guilty.
Like when Mommy finds the pile of white fluff that used to be a roll of toilet paper.
And if their tail is completely tucked?
Then they're just dog trannys getting ready to hit the bar (their lack of opposable thumbs makes the double-sided tape thing a mite tricky...).
Tucking also indicates they're unhappy/pissed. Which is how the barometer needle swings when Zeus vonB is subjected to costuming.
Sh*t.
So, in the daylight hours before All Hallows Eve, I can only admire what might have been, and I share with you, so you can commiserate along with me...
Oooh, so fierce! Able to gobble up screaming little monsters in one big chomp! Just look at that murderous gaze...
(or maybe he just wet himself).
Not only am I digging the little green dangly hands, it's nice to see that this is an anatomically correct Jedi Knight costume. Hel-lo, light sabre!
And finally,
Never having had the live little dolly to dress up (the boys are all so-o-o-o beyond listening and completely, rudely, ignore the GQ and Men's Vogue magazines I leave strewn about...), I turned my attention to the pug.
My mad fashion stylist skillz was not appreciated. By neither man nor beast.
You see, with pugs, their tail is their happy barometer. If it's curly and up:
Happy chappy.If it's at half mast:
A little uncertain. A little guilty. Like when Mommy finds the pile of white fluff that used to be a roll of toilet paper.
And if their tail is completely tucked?
Then they're just dog trannys getting ready to hit the bar (their lack of opposable thumbs makes the double-sided tape thing a mite tricky...).
Tucking also indicates they're unhappy/pissed. Which is how the barometer needle swings when Zeus vonB is subjected to costuming.
Sh*t.
So, in the daylight hours before All Hallows Eve, I can only admire what might have been, and I share with you, so you can commiserate along with me...
What Not To Wear #1 - The Pug-ligator
Oooh, so fierce! Able to gobble up screaming little monsters in one big chomp! Just look at that murderous gaze...(or maybe he just wet himself).
What Not To Wear #2 - Wicked, It Is
Not only am I digging the little green dangly hands, it's nice to see that this is an anatomically correct Jedi Knight costume. Hel-lo, light sabre!And finally,
What Not To Wear #3 - Darth Pug-dar
Be afraid- very, very afraid - I have many buttons, gizmos and doo-dads festooned upon my sunken asthmatic chest. Wheeze...And Queen Amidalah? Yeah, I tapped that bitch...
Happy Halloween, everyone! Be safe.
