Time to Go

It is a firm tenet within the vonBloggenschtern household that without rules, anarchy is just a whisper away.

So, while we haven't exactly created a gulag environment, we do maintain a certain structure and order and, thusly, have erected boundaries that have been carefully chosen for both their intellectual merit and common sensical value.

Take the vonB policy on the social contract involving weddings, for example.

(I love weddings, by the way. Without fail, I tear up when the bride makes her entrance. Just lovely.)

The Baron and I will always give a gift equivalent of at least the cost (plus a little) of the catered meals provided to us. We are, however, not really big on large soirees. It could be because we don't like noisy crowds. It could be because neither of us can stand not being the center of attention.

Regardless, we have devised a non-negotiable exit strategy. And it does not involve:
a) drunk babysitters (our 'children' are 16 & 19 year old boys- this fascinating scenario we would just let run its natural course),
b) early flights, or
c) feigned illness.

It's strictly legit.

Should the bride and groom's choice of DJ deign to play any of these songs: "La Bamba", "Pretty Woman", or "Old Time Rock and Roll"?

We are outta there.

To us, the trotting out of these old chestnuts is the beginning of the end, anyway. We feel that should the evening be proceeding so abysmally that these songs need to be played, the DJ is clearly losing the crowd and is making a desperation ploy to get all of the old folks out on the floor.

You know the ones.

The plaid-polyester-panted, pommaded uncles and the bosomy, chiffon-0-rama aunties.

The 'Funky Chicken' crowd.

Ack.

So once we hear the first "Duh Duh Duh Duh duh duh duh" keyboard intro and begin to envision Tom Cruise sliding around in his tighty whities, we're gone.

We once actually left the reception just after the first dance.

"Pretty Woman, walkin' down the street"...

Pretty vonB's, walkin' to their car.

Sad, really.

(The choice of music, I mean)

I've now decided that another rule is to be established within vonB world.

This pertains to the "news" about the flagging economy.

What. The. Hell?

This is life, people. This is not news, any more than "This just in - there is air outside" or "Today at dawn, the sun rose. Sources reveal it may set at dusk. News at 11."

I've now decided that any time I read or hear the following phrases: "In this economic climate",
"In these tough times", "During our current recession", I no longer will continue reading or listening.

Yeah.

I'm down to listening to All Traffic Radio, and watching my old "Gumby and Pokey" videos.

Just, of course, until this financial downturn rights itself.

Damn.

Time to go.