I Have a New Job!

The Baroness has had many, many 'career paths' in her lifetime: chambermaid, file clerk, modelling agency receptionist, lab technician...

But one of the jobs I'm most excited about is the one I'm about to undertake - Interwebs Spokesperson for the Mathews County Tourist Bureau.

Not that there is a current opening for this position, but in times like these it's all about the entrepreneurialism , non?

What got me all excited about this endeavor is a recent guided tour around the town. Well, more specifically, its beaches.

I will tell you right here and now, people - the potential for tourism is enormous.

Rather than just blather on and on, I'll just give you a sampling of the mock press-release I will forward along with my resume:
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Mathews County - OH! Natural

As summer approaches, and the amount of clothing worn decreases in direct proportion to the increasing heat and humidity, women are faced with one of their most unpleasant personal grooming tasks - harvesting all of that unwanted winter hair.

Shaving never seems to get it all, and let's be honest - those of us with that less-than-perfect eyesight always seem to miss entire swatches.

And waxing?
One word - YEEOUCH!

But now, there is a solution that is effective, painless, and virtually effortless.

It is a little-known secret that I'm going to let you in on -

Bethel Beach Natural Area Preserve.

Through 'The Magic of Mathews', all you need do is squat,

she's multi-tasking and she doesn't even know it!

and, voila! The hair will spontaneously just fall off your body into a neat pile:

Behold the immaculate pubis pile - so tidy!

No muss, no fuss.

No clogged drains; no Liquid Plumber required!

Here at Bethel Beach, we are green as green can be!

Like any miracle, the secret can't last forever - it's already starting to catch on among the local counties, as evidenced by last week's increase in volume (ho, ho, ho!!):

Satisfied visitor Shelley J of Richmond writes, "It was the most unbelievable thing! I'll surely be back next summer!"

Isn't it time you come to Bethel Beach to preserve your natural area?

We'll see you there."
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OK, OK, it might need a little tweaking.

But it's good, right?

Wish me luck!