But one of the jobs I'm most excited about is the one I'm about to undertake - Interwebs Spokesperson for the Mathews County Tourist Bureau.
Not that there is a current opening for this position, but in times like these it's all about the entrepreneurialism , non?
What got me all excited about this endeavor is a recent guided tour around the town. Well, more specifically, its beaches.
I will tell you right here and now, people - the potential for tourism is enormous.
Rather than just blather on and on, I'll just give you a sampling of the mock press-release I will forward along with my resume:
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Mathews County - OH! Natural
Shaving never seems to get it all, and let's be honest - those of us with that less-than-perfect eyesight always seem to miss entire swatches.
And waxing?
One word - YEEOUCH!But now, there is a solution that is effective, painless, and virtually effortless.
It is a little-known secret that I'm going to let you in on -
Bethel Beach Natural Area Preserve.
Through 'The Magic of Mathews', all you need do is squat,
she's multi-tasking and she doesn't even know it!and, voila! The hair will spontaneously just fall off your body into a neat pile:
Behold the immaculate pubis pile - so tidy!No clogged drains; no Liquid Plumber required!
Here at Bethel Beach, we are green as green can be!
Like any miracle, the secret can't last forever - it's already starting to catch on among the local counties, as evidenced by last week's increase in volume (ho, ho, ho!!):
Satisfied visitor Shelley J of Richmond writes, "It was the most unbelievable thing! I'll surely be back next summer!"Isn't it time you come to Bethel Beach to preserve your natural area?
We'll see you there."
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OK, OK, it might need a little tweaking.
But it's good, right?
Wish me luck!
