Monday, September 29, 2008

The Calling

So, I'm being as compulsive as usual, and scanning the locations of my readers.

Lo and behold, one of the people hails from - wait for it -

Washington, DC.

I don't want to brag or anything, but I think it's Sarah Palin's people.

Oh. My. Gawd.

I think that they're going to approach me to be her speechwriter, and feed her lines for the Thursday night routing, er, debate. How GREAT would that be?

There's just a few things going against me, but I'm willing to ignore them in order to pursue this dream job.

1. I'm Canadian. Although I am North American. Half points for that.

2. I'm completely apolitical. Although I think Jon Stewart is pretty smart sexy. What does this mean?

3. I would rather eviscerate myself with a rusty knife. Although that kinds of ties in to the hunting/fishing scene that Ms. P's Alaska has got going on.

So, fingers crosses I hear something in the next couple of days.

I've been to St. Louis, and I know for a fact that aside from the fabulous International Bowling Museum & Hall of Fame, they have a Neiman Marcus nearby.

I am so ready for this...

11 comments:

{i}Post said...

*gasp* Did you hear that? I think your phone is ringing!

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess iPost: Aw, it was just Clooney.

I'll tell ya, that guy's a crazy stalker!!!

(if you are missing the humor and utter inanity in all of this, I'm not doing my job properly...)

RiverPoet said...

Oh, please don't take it. I like hearing her make an ass out of herself!

D

asthmagirl said...

Please take it! With your coaching, she'll have some idea what that big land mass is on her other border.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess D: 'Tis a conundrum. Rest assured I would not be doing anything in the least to help her out - but she would be funnier than ever!

Countess AG: So when she looks out her kitchen window she can see Russia, and when she looks out her living room window she sees...er, um, those guys that live in igloos. What are they called again? I'd like to call a lifeline, please, Katie.

Mental P Mama said...

She doesn't deserve your wit.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Mama: How about half of my half-wit?

That's only a quarter. She'll choke on it anyways...

csquaredplus3 said...

I vote for you! I don't know what we border (because I have no idea where I am on the planet on any given day - geographically challenged), BUT I'm certain I can speak the language and work with the natives...

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Mathematique: Should we ever get into that whole Star Wars/inter galatic council thingy, I WILL run for office, and I will be calling on you to cast the first ballot. No pressure, though.

My platform will be a 3 day work week (including daily siestas), with monthly holidays honoring high-end footwear designers.

I am such a shoe-in....

Stacy said...

more russia jokes please!

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Countess Stacy: MORE Russia jokes?

That is a big request - I'll have to go back to the Yeltsin archives to see what I can drum up. Maybe something about him on "Dancing With the Stars".

Except he's dead.

So there's the possibility he might get voted off...

 
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