Ya Don't Hafta Be Jewish...

...to realize that this is SO not kosher, on so many levels....

Today's 'Torn From the Headlines Tuesday' feature article:

Artificial Meat grown in Laboratory, could be on plates in five years
by Nick Britten, Daily Telegraph

LONDON - The move towards artificially engineered food has taken a step forward after scientists grew a form of meat in a laboratory for the first time.

Researchers in Holland have created what was described as soggy pork and are investigating ways to improve the muscle tissue in the hope that people will one day want to eat it. [Editor's Note: Old El Paso and Taco Bell? I would strongly suggest that you start saving up now in order to afford the world's best marketing firm - ever] . The scientists have not tasted the product, [Editor's Note 2: Which lab rat is going to taste soggy pork? The newest hiree, that's who.] but it is believed the artificial meat could be on sale within five years. [Editor's Note 3: McRib, anyone??].

...The advent of meat grown in a laboratory could help to reduce the billions of tons of greenhouse gases emitted each year by farm animals....

Can't we just give them all Bean-o and be done with it?

Because given the choice, I'd rather be gassed in a greenhouse full of farts than eat soggy pork.

Just sayin'.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch Che-volving

Oddly enough, The Baron and I, with our large-ish personalities, have more than a few passionate...

...arguments.

(Get your minds out of the gutters, you!)

They usually go something like this:

Baron: "Blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda yadda, I'm full of confidence and maven-esque qualities, so I will argue with an exponentially increasing volume and win because I'm extremely competitive."

Baroness: "Yadda yadda yadda, black is white, you're completely off-base, I'm an only child and used to getting my way and what I may lack in facts I will make up for in tenacity. I will wear you down to a nub of your former self."

These charming pas-de-deuxs usually end in an unsatifying "agree to disagree" tie. Damn it.

So, the memories of the ones that were rational and calm are usually somewhere near the front of my brain.

One of our more interesting "dis-gust-shuns" (as the Dukes used to call them) stemmed from a old chestnut of wisdom from none other than one Dr. Gregory House:

"Everyone lies"

As a corollary of that, the Baron trotted out a rather bold statement:

"People don't change"

His argument, annoyingly supported by facts and citations, was along the line that people are inherently who they are. They may say that they've changed, but it's a lie. Look at habits, said he. These are ingrained. They are practically written on ones DNA. One can't change what is and what always will be.

I, being an ex-scientist-type, threw down the irrefutable (ok, unless you're a creationist) gauntlet of Evolution. People do adapt, they do change - they have no choice.

Thusly, strangely, we both agreed with the other. And we begat a new word:

"Che-volve"

The act of not quite changing, but of kind of changing, and kind of evolving, so one appears to be somewhat new. But not.

All I can tell you is that, while I've been extremely successful with my recent weight loss, when I was circling the dessert table on Friday night, I had not che-volved. Not one little bit.

And that was a bitter pill to swallow.

(The 3 brownies made it much easier...)