Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Ya Don't Hafta Be Jewish...

...to realize that this is SO not kosher, on so many levels....

Today's 'Torn From the Headlines Tuesday' feature article:

Artificial Meat grown in Laboratory, could be on plates in five years
by Nick Britten, Daily Telegraph

LONDON - The move towards artificially engineered food has taken a step forward after scientists grew a form of meat in a laboratory for the first time.

Researchers in Holland have created what was described as soggy pork and are investigating ways to improve the muscle tissue in the hope that people will one day want to eat it. [Editor's Note: Old El Paso and Taco Bell? I would strongly suggest that you start saving up now in order to afford the world's best marketing firm - ever] . The scientists have not tasted the product, [Editor's Note 2: Which lab rat is going to taste soggy pork? The newest hiree, that's who.] but it is believed the artificial meat could be on sale within five years. [Editor's Note 3: McRib, anyone??].

...The advent of meat grown in a laboratory could help to reduce the billions of tons of greenhouse gases emitted each year by farm animals....

Can't we just give them all Bean-o and be done with it?

Because given the choice, I'd rather be gassed in a greenhouse full of farts than eat soggy pork.

Just sayin'.

13 comments:

Titanium said...

I'm afraid that the mere suggestion of soggy pork would drive me right back to subsistence hunting for organic meat.

There's just something weird about trying to grow a slab of bacon in a petri dish.

baronessvonb said...

Countess Ti: Twigs and berries are lookin' pretty fine right about now.

formerly fun said...

Eeew.

These Nine Acres said...

*gag*

That's all I got.

Cormac Brown said...

Uh, genetically engineered soggy pork?

Seriously?

They waste actual funding on this? I guess I'll be going vegetarian sooner, than later.



Oh, and eeeewwww!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

DisGUSTing!

I'd rather be gassed in a greenhouse full of SOGGY PIG FARTS than eat, smell or even see this artificial soggy pork.--here after known as spork.

And let me tell you something, until you've smelled pig $%!+ you don't know realize the enormity (or atrocity) of that statement.

word ver: scoak. The artificial meat produced in the lab tasted like a Mcrib scoaked in pig farts.

baronessvonb said...

Countess FF: They blinded me with SCIENCE!!! (there might have been a bit of barfing, too).

Countess TNA: Pass the bucket.

Count Cormac: I only report the facts. Secondhand, of course. But I've been told they're facts.

Countess CBW: Jeez, woman. You are SO competitive. It's like you grew up in a family of sisters or something. Love your WV.

So, I guess there's no BBQ at this year's BlogFest? Because I know a place where there are SOOOO juicy! Some might even say soggy.

Mental P Mama said...

Gaaaaaaaaaak

baronessvonb said...

Countess MPM: Yeah, I think this whole lab meat thing is gonna catch on just fine...

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

I'm kind of a picky meat eater. Soggy pork? YUK. ON the other hand - who wants a hot dog?

baronessvonb said...

Countess Campbells: You? Picky eater? Who knew?

(well, I kinda did, because I sat next to you at dinner...).

foolery said...

"Because given the choice, I'd rather be gassed in a greenhouse full of farts than eat soggy pork."

This needs to be on someone's Official List of Best Things Ever Written (in or out of context). I know it's on mine.

baronessvonb said...

Countess Foolery: Surely there must be a "It Was a Dark and Rainy Night"-esque competition out there somewhere...

I'll check the Oscar Meyer website.

 
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