Monday, January 11, 2010

Your Official Winter Olympics Ambassador

photo source here

That would be ME!!

(not me the ice sculpture - me, the ambassador.)

(although I do feel like the ice sculpture sometimes...cold-hearted, block-headed, kinda bloaty and cankle-y...)

(I have yet to feel quite old enough to be rockin' the adult snow diaper)

FYI, the carving above is referred to as an Inukshuk, which is - I believe - Aleutian for bloated and cankled one, or Great Whale Blubber God.

See? I'm a wealth of information. Stick with me, peeps. We're going places.

I'm self-elected, but hey. The sash looks pretty spiffy over my parka, and if I'm not mistaken, I think that ambassadors wear tiaras of some sort.

(and if they don't, they should)

Within the next month or so, I will begin my own BvonB Network coverage of the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Rest assured, there will be very little sports talked about. I really do not like sports all that much.

Nope, I plan on walking in and amongst the great unwashed, and sleuthing out the weird and wonderful, the oddities and lunacies.

In true Baroness fashion, I will couple my keen powers of observation with mad photography skills, and give you coverage unlike any other. There will be pictures of people taking pictures; I'm hoping that there are many more Clive Barker wanna-bes out there, clicking, and turning, bending and contorting. And wearing black socks and sneakers.

I consider it my ambassadorial duty to bring all of this to you. Because, you know, tickets to even the most hideous winter events (I think this might be the cross-country ski/badger shoot), are insanely expensive.

Yet, you'll see things here for absolutely free. I might throw in a set of Ginzu knives, if I'm feeling generous. Maybe even a SlapChop or two (but I can't wait all day).

Say it.

You are lucky to have me.

As a teaser, I will entice you with a local commercial. It combines 2 sports that illustrates the awesomeness that is Canada.



Doc said...

I'm glad you're covering this as I'm sure your insight will be much better than the talking heads on TV. I would especially like to see some ice fencing coverage.


P.S. That is the ski/badger shoot. They used to use beavers but we all know how Canadians feel about that.

baronessvonb said...

Doctuer: Yes, rather bad form to be sniping at the national fauna. There is some suggestion, however, than the badgers will be wearing little Celine Dion masks...

(uh oh, did I type that out loud??)

Titanium said...

...Badgers in little Celine Dion masks... I just lost my mouthful of coffee all over the keyboard (again). That is hilarious!

Glad you are covering the festivities- there's no better source.

baronessvonb said...

Countess Ti: Near...Far...Wherever you are...You are safe getting your coverage from me, n'est-ce pas?

Mental P Mama said...

I can hardly wait for your reports! Maybe Letterman will hire you!

baronessvonb said...

Countess Mama: I'm gonna have to figure out the 'live' aspect. Either that, or I will employ a sketch artist and interpretive dancer to give the essence of it all... ;)

wv: biaterm, as in "I will need extra Biaterm for my chapped faced after standing outside for so long."

formerly fun said...

We are lucky to have you.

And I am expecting at least one athlete Cinderella story worthy of a hankie:)

Diane said...

I love the slap chop! Actually, it's a little embarrassing... I love the guy that does slap chop!

But I love you more, so I'll be watching! Especially your commentary on the luge!

(my word verification = karma!)

baronessvonb said...

Countess FF: I will hunt down that Cinderella story for you like a Biathlete hunts down a badger...

Countess Diane: Zucchini, Bikini, Martini...I hope I'm as versatile!

For realz on the wv?? Cool.

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