Caffeine: The Double-Edged Sword

Those of you who've been coming here (faithfully, may I add) for some time know that I'm pretty fussy about my coffee (click the ol' wayback machine here for one of my java rants).

Like millions of other coffee lovers, I have my sacred morning ritual of coffee and newspaper. I try valiantly to speed my way through the lion's share of the news so that by the time the caffeine opens the sluiceway between brain and body, I'm primed and ready to kick some booty on the NY Times Crossword.

Sometimes, though, there are articles in our 'News of The World'-esque journal that trip me up. I have to screech on the mental brakes and take a look.

And sometimes, only being half-caffeinated can make for some pretty amusing information gathering.

One piece that caught my eye was about a recent attack on a small girl by a rogue mountain lion.

Yes, this event could have been tragic. Yes, it's pretty serious. Yes, it's yet another argument for the encroachment of man on local wildlife, the encroachment of local wildlife on man, and all the ensuing debates. Blahdee, blahdee, blah.

But really.

To my barely awake mind, it was these two magic words:

"Cougar", and

"Expert". Nothing else really mattered.

My heart began to pitty-pat. Here was something potentially fraught with double entendres, and therefore worthwhile persuing further.

I was not disappointed.

(Thank you, Mr. Andy Ivens, reporter extraordinaire)

By the way, if you are a woman of older-ish persuasion and are:

a) in the midst of your hormone circus, and
b) the proud owner of a pulse

then you have, at one time or another, exhibited cougar-like tendencies.

If you deny this, my friend, methinks that you are not being totally honest with yourself. Hell, I've admitted it. Proudly. Publicly. More than once (check out sausage-fest Exhibit A and Exhibit B).

Do any of these attributes sound vaguely familiar? C'mon. Confess.

"Cougars try to avoid large meal tickets, expert says"

"When a cougar attacks, the struggle is violent and brief"

"Their jaw strength is quite strong, so that they can grab something and break through and sever the spinal cord"

"They are very explosive, like a sprinter"

"A lot of times when cougars attack humans, there's something wrong with them - either they're inexperienced in hunting or they're starving to death"

"If they aren't able to finish the job within a minute, they'll have to back off and try again later"

"The most amazing thing about them is their jumping ability and how athletic they are"

and finally,

"Cougars in Northern BC are probably the largest in the range"

Hey, now.

That one hurt my feelings.

Rawr.

[*vonB Aside: blogger has been having brain farts throughout my writing of this post. I've already redone it twice, and really? It's not worth doing a third. Apologies for the hot mess of layout mixups, irregular fonts, italics, whatnot. ]

Amelie, Mon Ami

Greetings from Amelie-land - Monmartre itself - arrondisement of a thousand steps, and almost as many tourists.

A short diversionary story. Just after the Baron and I were married (oh so many, many moons ago), one of his clients gave him some indispensible advice. He said that even though there may be some amazing meals where the Baron and Baroness would sit down together, to talk over their days, and make their plans, there should also be times when we would just "drop the fork", and just sit and look and live in that very moment. There would always be time for dinner, said the sage client - but you had to make time to "drop the fork".

We have been having many of these moments - moments where, rather than being obsessed with finding the right street corner, or the exact patisserie, we just stop and look and smell at the wonder that swirls all around us. This little pause begins to etch those indelible memories in our brains. But, just as one must drop the fork from time to time, one must also pick up the spoon, and have a demitasse of motor oil/decaf coffee.

On this day, I had mine here:

Cafe Deux Moulins

(where part of the interiors for the movie "Amelie" were filmed)

The only thing that still remains of the movie are the Polaroids of the Roaming Gnome ( I guess the film company let them keep them:)

Oh, and this:

I think this coffee may have been around since the film was made in 2000.

I drank it anyway.